Presented to the UNIVERSITY OF TORONTO LIBRARY by the ONTARIO LEGISLATIVE LIBRARY 1980 Lawyers' Merriments PUBLISHED BV JAMES MACLEHOSE AND SONS, GLASGOW, to the MACMILLAN AND CO., LTD., LONDON. Nnv York, The Macmillan Co. Toronto, - - The Mactttilian Co. of Canada. London, Simpkin, Hamilton and Co. Cambridge, Bowes and Bowes. Edinburgh, Douglas and Fouiti. Sydney, A ng us and Robertson. A LAWYER AND HIS CLIENTS, 1572 From Damhoudere, Practiqtie ludiciairt des Causes civile* sir Lawyers' Me David Murray LL.D., F.S.A. Glasgow James MacLehose and Sons Publishers to the University 1912 ni>ti iu SE- . DF(. Sinon estimable, au mows curieuse PREFACE .AW is a serious matter, but the outside world seems to ind in it a perpetual source of entertainment. Litigants and lawyers, courts and judges, and the very law itself, have furnished topics for scores of amusing volumes. M orison's Dictionary, with its seventeen thousand pages, to say nothing of the Appendix and many volumes of Supplement, is a vast repertory of learning, of much sound and of some bad law, but the curious reader will find not a little to amuse him in the situations presented by the cases reported, by the odd observations of the reporters, and the naive and pithy remarks of the judges. No one has attacked it, but any enthusiast who does so will find material for many gatherings of Curiosities. This treatment of the law and those who resort to its aid, or who are engaged in its administration, is perfectly legitimate, and there is no reason why outsiders should not laugh at what they find provokes to laughter. Ill drawn or absurd statutes, muddled or bizarre wills, may quite well be treated as Curiosities of Legislation, or as Whims of Testators, and many industrious authors have employed themselves in searching out and exhibiting such maladroit performances of legislators and draftsmen lay or professional and the confusion which they bring about. ><*< Si vi PREFACE Old customs, which seem to be odd, have also provided a good deal of merriment, but in this case the laugh is often a mistake. A law may seem to be grotesque, but this may be only because we do not understand it. At a graduation ceremony, in the University of Leipzig, in 1761, Professor Carl Ferdinand Hommel, the ornament of its law school, made an oration upon the law playing harlequin (Oratio de jure arlequini'zante). His aim, he explained, was not to deal with cranky doctors of laws (delirientes doctores utriusque juris], but with some jocular laws (jocu/ares leges], such as the Roman jus postlimimi, and the customs recorded in old German and Anglo-Saxon codes, in Regiam Majestatem, and the picturesque pages of Hector Boethius. Before the end of the century these same customs, and the language in which they are expressed, had come to be regarded as the most valuable inheritance of to-day from those far-off times. What Hommel regarded as subjects to laugh at, Grimm showed to be the true expression of the life, the thought, the poetry of the German race. Hommel was an erudite scholar, an accurate lawyer, and a man of extraordinary industry : he was deeply read in the history of the law, but he failed to grasp its continuity, and did not truly appreciate its development and growth. While much has been written upon what may be called the accidental humour of the law, very little has been said regarding the intentional humour of lawyers, in adapting their professional pursuits to purposes of amusement. The history of the law and of its various branches, of process and forms of procedure, have been treated at length in many works of authority, but the history of the practice of the law has been comparatively overlooked. PREFACE vii Many years ago I began to collect material bearing upon this subject, but the active practice of the law prevented my proceeding further. In 1909 part of this material formed the substance of a paper, afterwards published, on Legal Practice in Ayr and the West of Scotland in the Fifteenth and Sixteenth Centuries : last autumn a further portion was turned to account for a paper read to the Incorporated Society of Law Agents, at their meeting in Dundee. The following pages are an expansion of that paper. Its object is to indicate some of the ways in which practising lawyers have used the law and legal procedure as a means of recreation in their leisure hours. DAVID MURRAY. 13 FITZROY PLACE, GLASGOW, 15 April, 1912. CONTENTS PAGE LAWYERS' MERRIMENTS i OF A STRANGE CASE (EiN WUNDERLICHER FALL) 3 CURIOSITIES OF THE LAW . 5 THE HUMOUR OF LAWYERS 6 LAW LYRICS 8 EARLY SCOTS MAKERS 17 EARLY LAWS AND CONVEYANCING IN VERSE 19 RHYMING WILLS 31 METRICAL VERSIONS OF CODES AND TEXT- BOOKS 32 COMIC TEXT-BOOKS 39 FACETIOUS PRECEDENTS 42 INSTRUCTION IN LAW BY THE NOVEL 45 PROVERBS 47 MEMORIAL VERSES 59 HUMOUR IN INDEXES AND DICTIONARIES 62 LAW AS THE SUBJECT OF DIDACTIC POETRY 67 x CONTENTS PAGE LAW REPORTS IN VERSE 82 PLAIDOYERS BURLESQUES 95 CAUSES GRASSES. SHROVE-TIDE LICENCE 116 ELEGANTE JURISPRUDENZ. WHIMSICAL DISSERTATIONS AND THESES 121 THE LEGAL PROSECUTION AND EXCOMMUNICATION OF THE INFERIOR ANIMALS 127 LAW PROCEDURE APPLIED IN ILLUSTRATION OF SERIOUS SUBJECTS 131 PROCESSUS SATHANJE 134 LlTIGACIO SATHAN-ffi CONTRA GENUS HuMANUM 153 PROCESSUS LUCIFERI 154 HlSTORISCHER PROCESSUS JURIS 158 INFANTIUM IN LIMBO QUERELA 159 ARRETS D' AMOUR DE MARTIAL D'AUVERGNE 160 LAW IN DAILY LIFE 165 THE PSALTER FOR LITIGANTS 168 LAW BOOKS AND THE INDEX EXPURGATORIUS 170 THE WAXEN NOSE OF THE LAW 174 MOUSE TRAPS 179 NEQUITIA ADVOCATORUM 197 CONTENTS xi PAGE LlVRES DE LUXE ILLUSTRATIONS IN LAW BOOKS 206 LAWYERS' LOGIC 225 SEX 237 DOCTORS OF LAWS 244 RECREATIONS OF LAWYERS 255 THE LAWYERS' LIBRARY 262 INDEX 279 ILLUSTRATIONS A LAWYER AND HIS CLIENTS, 1572 Frontispiece From Damhoudere, Practique ludiciaire des Causes civiles, c. 27, Anvers, 1572, fol. Infra p. 216. The reproduction is taken from the Latin version. Ib. 1596, 410. My copy has the inscription, " Ce lieure appartient au sieur Gobel, Procureur fiscal de la seigneurie de Thanne." TRUTH PROCLAIMED TO THE WORLD. Two FIGHTING COCKS IN FRONT OF THE BOOK OF THE LAW REPRESENT THE BATTLE OF LIFE, THE CONTEST OF THE LAW COURTS Title-page From Das A, B. C. cum Notts -variorum, herausgegeben -von einem dessen Nahmen in A. B. C. stehet. Leipzig und Dresden, 1703, 8vo, 3 parts. There was an earlier edition. Ib. 1695, 8vo. PAGE CITATION 96 From Damhoudere, Practique ludiciaire es Ca-vses criminelles, c. xiii. D'adjournment. The reproduction is taken from the German version, Franckfurt a. M. 1565, 410. Infra p. 2 1 6. The same illustration is given in the Praxis rerun ci-vilium, c. 54, Antwerpiae, 1596, 410. APPEAL 160 From Damhoudere, Cavses criminelles, c. 149. THE WAXEN NOSE OF THE LAW 176 From the Nebula Nebulonum of Johann Flitner, secundo aeditn a Joanne Coopmans Leowerdiense, 1034. The first edition was Francofurti, 1620, 8vo. This is from Od. in. at p. 16. In Procuratores flexiloquos, & rabulas forenses NVCLEVS lus cereum, quo volunt, rabulae flectunt. xiv ILLUSTRATIONS PAGE Flitner's work was a translation in Latin verse from Der Schelmen Zunft of Thomas Murner (i475" I 537)> { h e satirist and opponent of Luther. This work, which is illustrated with wood-cuts, was first published at Frankfort, 1512, 410, and was often reprinted. The inscription over the cut in the Nebula Nebulonum is " Hie garriendo literas perforat," which corresponds with Murner's "Eyn loeh (lurch brieff reden." Der iurist kan appellieren, Der ander dich bey der nasen fieren : Der selb frum redlich bider man Mit gelt eyn brieff durch reden kan, On pfennig er keyn sprach mer hatt Der kechen von der neuwen stett. Murner proposed to teach law by means of playing cards : Chartiludium Institute summarie doctore Thoma Murner memorante et ludente. Argent. (Johannes PrOs), 1518, 410, with wood-cuts, 119 leaves. He had previously applied this method to logic : Chartiludium logice seu logic a poetica vel memorati-va cumjocundo pictasmatis exercitamento, published at Cracow, where he was then a professor, in 1507, 410. Reprinted Argentine, 1509, 410, with wood-cuts, 83 leaves. Both works are exceedingly scarce. There is a copy of the 1 509 edition of the logic in the Hamilton collection in Glasgow University Library. SUICIDE 218 From Nebula Nebulonum, Od. xxxin. p. 177. Damhoudere has an illustration c. 88, of suicide ; but the above, with the devil pulling away the footstool, is more dramatic. RECREATION 256 From Decretum Gratiani, Distinctio 35 f. 56, Venetiis (Lucas Antoninus de Giunta, Florentinus), 1514, 410. The colophon, which is in red, bears that the work " figuris adeo exacte lineatio pictum ut nihil in ipsis propter spiritum videatur desiderari." BELIAL AND MOSES BEFORE KING SOLOMON AS JUDGE 303 From Belial xu Tcuttch, Strassburg (Johannes Priisz), 1508, 410. Infra p. 157. LAWYERS' MERRIMENTS ALTHOUGH few people nowadays read George Alexander Stevens' Lecture on Heads, every one is familiar with the great trial, Bullum v. Eoatum ; * Cowper's poetical report of the law case between Nose, plaintiff, and Eyes, defend- ants, is also well known ; while the will of the testator, who bequeathed to his friend all his black and white horses, and died leaving six black, six white, and six black and white horses, is still as great a puzzle as it was to Martinus Scriblerus. 2 These are examples of a style of humour still in vogue, and which has at all times been popular. Amongst the Greeks, the Sophists and Megaric philo- sophers distinguished themselves in inventing logical traps 1 It did not appear in the edition of 1770, which, however, is probably spurious ; but the Lecture grew as time advanced, and it finds a place in the editions of 1785, Part Fifth, p. 79, and 1788, p. 57. The first edition of the Lecture seems to have been in folio, without date, illus- trated with one plate. Thomas Rodd, Catalogue of Tracts, Pamphlets and unbound Books, No. 6423. London, 1819, 8vo. 2 The case of Stradling v. Stiles is given by Pope as a specimen of Scriblerus's Reports (Works, vii. p. 187, London, 1757, I2mo), but he was much assisted in its preparation by his friend, William Fortescue (1687-1749), Master of the Rolls. See Monk, Life of Richard Bentley, p. 481, 1830, 410. A 2 LAWYERS' MERRIMENTS and puzzles, many of which turned upon legal procedure. One of the most famous of these is the Litigiosus or Reci- procus, which retained its popularity in the time of the Empire. It is told in relation to an action between Protagoras, the prince of the Sophists, and Euathlus, a young man, his disciple. "The disciple had covenanted to give his master a large sum to accomplish him as a legal rhetorician ; the one-half of the sum was paid down, and the other was to be paid on the day when Euathlus should plead and gain his first cause. But when the scholar, after the due course of preparatory instruction, was not in the same hurry to commence pleader as the master to obtain the remainder of his fee, Protagoras brought Euathlus into Court, and addressed his opponent in the following reasoning : Learn, most foolish of young men, that, however matters may turn up (whether the decision to-day be in your favour or against you), pay me my demand you must. For if the judgment be against you I shall obtain the fee by decree of the Court, and if in your favour I shall obtain it in terms of the compact, by which it became due on the very day you gained your first cause. You thus must fail, either by judgment or by stipulation. To this Euathlus rejoined Most sapient of masters, learn from your own argument that, whatever may be the finding of the Court, absolved I must be from any claim by you. For if the decision be favourable I pay nothing by the sentence of the judges, but if unfavourable I pay nothing in virtue of the compact, because, though pleading, I shall not have gained my cause. The judges, says Aulus Gellius, unable to find a ratio TRAPS AND PUZZLES 3 decidendi, adjourned the case sine die, and ultimately left it undetermined." l Of a like character was the sophism of the Schoolmen, known as " Pons Asinorum " or " Buridan's Ass," but it was a metaphysical not a legal conceit. The lower animals, it is assumed, have no free will. If therefore a hungry ass were placed between two similar bottles of ; ' ; hay equally inviting, the beast must stand still and starve to death, being unable to turn to either, because there are equal motives to both. 2 Bayle has a long and interesting disquisition upon the puzzle, and refers to the case of Gargantua, now old, who did not know whether he should cry for the loss of his wife Badebec, who died in childbirth, or laugh for joy of his new-born son. The good man, says Rabelais, had sophistical arguments on the one side and the other, which choked him, but he could not solve them, and so he remained entangled like a mouse in a trap or a kite in a snare. 3 The case of Bullum v. Boatum was not an invention of Stevens ; but is found in Martin Luther's Tischreden or Table-Talk. Stevens used it for the purpose of raising a laugh at the expense of judges and lawyers. It is intro- duced into the Table-Talk to show the great Reformer's good common sense and sound judgment. "OF A STRANGE CASE (EIN WUNDERLICHER FALL). "Anno 1546, a Case in Law was related to Luther, That a Miller had an Ass which ran out of his yard and came to a River's side, where hee went into a 1 Hamilton, Lectures on Logic, i. p. 467. He also gives, Ib. p. 468, the Greek version of the story. 2 Reid, Works, ed. Hamilton, i. p. 238. 3 Bayle, Dictionnalre, s.v. " Buridan," note. 4 LAWYERS' MERRIMENTS Fisher's Boat that stood in the River, and would drink thereout. But inasmuch as the Boat was not tied fast by the Fisher, it swam away with the Ass ; insomuch that the Miller lost his Ass and the Fisher his Boat. The Miller thereupon complained of the Fisher, in that he neglected to tie his boat fast ; Again, the Fisher accused the Miller for not keeping his Ass at home, and therefore desired satisfaction for his Boat : Nunc sequitur quid sit juris ? i.e. Now it is a quere what the law is ? Took the Ass the Boat, or the Boat the Ass away ? Whereupon Luther said, These are called Casus in Jure: ambo peccaverunt : i.e. Cases in Law; they both were in an error \ the Fisher, in that hee tied his Boat not fast ; the Miller, in not keeping his Ass at home. Culpa est in utraque parte : est casus fortuitus, uterque peccavit negligentia : tales casus &f ex- empla illudunt summum jus Juristarum : non enim practi- candum est summum Jus, sed ALquitas. Omnia sunt gubernanda secundum tequitatem. Ita Theologi quoque pr*edicare debent, ne homines omnino ligent aut solvant : that is, There is a fault on both sides : it is a chance- medlie : there was negligence on both sides : such cases and examples wave the rigor of the Lawyers : for the extreme rigor is not to bee exercised, but onely Equitie. All things are to bee governed by Equitie. And so Divines ought to preach, that they neither bind nor loos men." 1 The case was put to Luther as if it was a novelty, but it was a catch of time-honoured standing. 2 1 Colloquia oder Tlschreden Doctor Martini Lutheri, c. 66, f. 407, Franck- furt a. M., 1576, fol., p. 777; Leipzig, 1700, fol. ; translated into English by Capt. Henrie Bell, c. 66, p. 495, London, 1652, fol. 2 Infra, p. 226. CURIOSITIES OF THE LAW 5 CURIOSITIES OF THE LAW. Law, lawyers and legal procedure have been the subject of innumerable tales, novels and dramas, of satire and good-humoured fun. Many of the most amusing stories in such ancient collections as the Gesta Romanorum and the Facetiae of Poggio Bracciolini (1380-1459) relate to courts or lawyers, just as in the modern "Joe Miller." 1 Some rules of law have their humorous side ; certain steps of legal procedure strike the observer as odd on account of their quaintness, their formality, or their com- plexity ; ludicrous situations constantly arise in the course of actual proceedings ; lawyers, and even judges, are occasionally facetious. The humour in such cases is the product of the law itself or of its administration. It is the humour of real life. M. C. B. Waree, editor of the Annales du Earreau Franfais, made a collection of such curiosities under the title Curiosith Judiciaires ; 2 a similar volume by Justus Abele was published at Augsburg in the same year; 3 Herr E. O. Hoffhas given us another; 4 and we have like collections in English by Francis Watt ; 5 1 Legal facetice, satirical and humorous, by John Willock, London, 1887, 8vo, is a kind of legal "Joe Miller." It is a farrago of snippets regard- ing law and lawyers, very amusing, but without any definite aim. 2 Paris, 1859, 8vo. 3 Wohlgelaunter Doctor Juris, das ist : Juristische Kurzweil, Augsburg, 1859, 8vo. Of older date are Juristische Vademecum, 1789; and Der lustiger Jurist, by Friedrich Julius Rottmann, Frankf., 1716; Brem., fifth edition, 1738, 8vo. * J uristischer Humor, Berlin [1891], 8vo. 5 The Law's Lumber Room, two series, London, 1895, 1898, 8vo. 6 LAWYERS' MERRIMENTS William Andrews; 1 Croake James (a pseudonym); 2 L. J. Bigelow ; 3 and others. 4 The late Sheriff Barclay (1799-1884) wrote on the Curiosities of Legislation 6 and the Curiosities of the Game Laws-, 6 and Mr. W. B. Dunbar (d. 1887), procurator- fiscal, Dundee, threw light on the eccentricities of criminal law in his Escapes of Prisoners on Technical Grounds in Scottish Practice ; 7 and there are numerous works of a similar kind. 8 THE HUMOUR OF LAWYERS. It has been said " that while the husbandman and mechanic could console their labours with the accompani- ment of song, and their work be even prospered by some self-pleasing tune, the law admits of no such assistance or diversion, but requires application of the whole faculties both of body and mind, excluding every expression of 1 The Lawyer, in history, literature, and humour, London, 1896, 8vo ; Legal Lore, Curiosities of Law and Lawyers, Ib. 1897, 8vo. 2 Curiosities of Law and Lawyers, London, 1882, 8vo. 3 Bench and Bar ; Wit, Humour, and Asperities of the Law, New York, 1867, again 1871, 8vo. 4 E.g. Legal Recreations, or Popular Amusements in the Laws of England, by a Barrister-at-Law, London [i 794], 8vo. The title-page bears volume i., but, so far as I am aware, a second did not appear. Heard (Franklin Fiske), Oddities of the Law, Boston, 1881, I2mo ; Curiosities of the Law Reporters, Ib. 1871, 1881, izmo; Moncrieff (Hon. Frederick Charles), Wit and Wisdom of the Bench and Bar, London, 1882, 12 mo ; Jeafferson (J. C.), Book about Lawyers, 1867, 8vo, 2 vols. ; Pleasantries of English Courts and Lawyers, 1876, 8vo ; Wilcox (H. S.), Foibles of the Bench, Chicago, 1906, 8vo ; Foibles of the Bar, Ib. 1906, 8vo. 5 Glasgow, 1864, 8vo. *lb. 1864, 8vo. Ub. 1866, 8vo. 8 E.g. Edwards, Collection of remarkable old English customs and curious Bequests and Charities, London, 1842, 8vo ; [Byrne (Julia Clara), Mrs.] HUMOUR OF LAWYERS 7 cheerfulness or refreshment." 1 This is hardly correct. Lawyers have attacked their own profession and pro- fessional pursuits on their humorous side, and have produced a vast literature in prose and verse of Legal Facetiae, or what may be styled Lawyers' Merriments. M. Robert Pons (1749-1844), known as de Verdun from the place of his birth, was an eminent advocate, a revolutionary, and a poet. He collected materials for a work on curious books in theology, law, arts and science, literature and history, but he was a busy man, and was unable to put them into shape. He, however, entrusted his collections on law books to M. Julien-Michel Dufour de Saint-Pathus (1757-1828), who published them under the title Eibliotheque des litres singuliers en Droit, in his Questions Illustres? with an abstract or precis of their Curiosities of the Search Room ; Serious and Whimsical Wills, Ib. 1880, 8vo ; Tegg, Wills of their own ; curious eccentric and benevolent, Ib. 1876, 12 mo ; Proffatt, Curiosities and law of Wills, San Francisco, 1876, 8vo. One of the most curious collection of eccentric wills is that of Gabriel Peignot (1767-1849), the bibliographer: Choix de testamens anciens et modernes, remarquables par leur importance, leur singularite, ou leur bizzarrerie, avec des details historiques et des notes, Dijon, 1829, 8vo, 2 vols. 1 Moile, State Trials, Preface, p. vii. Infra, p. 85. 2 Paris, 1813, 8vo. The Catalogue extends to 90 pages; but, long as it is, it is far from exhaustive. I incline to think that M. Pons took a large number of the titles from catalogues, and had not seen the actual volumes. A considerable portion of the more curious was in the library of Dominique-Martin Meon (1748-1829), editor of the Fabliaux et Contes des Poetes franfois (Paris, 1808, 8vo, 4 vols.) and other works. He had to sell his large library to pay his debts. See Catalogue des livres precieux, singuliers, et rares, . . . qui composaient la Bibliotheque de M. * *, No. 450-523, Paris, 1803, 8vo. M. Pons seems to have confined his collections to works in Latin or French. There is a copy of the Questions Illustres in the admirable library of 8 LAWYERS' MERRIMENTS general scope. The book also contains a reprint of a number of curious treatises of the character enumerated in the catalogue. The collection of books is one of the most extraordinary that could be imagined ; it might have been the work of Rabelais, and certainly shows that the human mind has many freaks, and that human industry takes strange ways of finding employment. Some of the works are intended as banter ; but a large proportion are solemn treatises on absurd subjects, or ridiculous judgments in actual cases. Some of the books are well known ; others could only be found after the search of a lifetime. All are of a somewhat remote period and by foreign authors. The humour of the law has not, however, been overlooked in modern times, and has been illustrated by many writers, both at home and abroad. I propose to deal with some of their works, and also with some of those of ancient date. LAW LYRICS. One of the best-known collections of legal lyrics in this part of the world is that of George Outram, advocate, a Glasgow man by birth, and editor of the Glasgow Herald. His genius, says Sheriff Bell, " manifested itself chiefly in the production of songs and other lyrical pieces, mostly in the Scottish dialect, and exhibiting, without a touch of bitterness, an amount of humour unsurpassed by any other national writer." The piece most often quoted is perhaps " The Annuity." 1 the Society of Writers to the Signet, Edinburgh, and two in the British Museum. 1 Legal Lyrics : and metrical Illustrations of the Scotch forms of Process, n.p. 1851, 8vo, pp. 45. Printed for private circulation, and without LAW LYRICS 9 I gaed to spend a week in Fife An unco week it proved to me For there I met a waesome wife Lamentin' her viduity. Her grief brak' out sae fierce and fell, I thought her heart wad burst the shell, And I was sae left to mysel' I sell't her an annuity. The bargain lookit fair eneugh She just was turned o' saxty-three ; I couldna guessed she'd prove sae teugh By human ingenuity. But years ha'e come, and years ha'e gane, And there's she yet as stieve's a stane The limmer's growin' young again Since she got her annuity. " The Annuity " does not relate to a purely legal matter ; but the pieces dealing with forms of process exhibit the humorous side of our Court procedure, and will be referred to when we come to that branch of the subject. A more modern collection of the same kind is Law Lyrics, by our friend, Mr. Robert Bird, also a Glasgow man and a practitioner in Glasgow, enlarged in a second edition, and added to by More Law Lyrics. * "The Sheriff and the Cow" is after the style of Bullum v. Boatum the author's name. I have his presentation copy to Robert, after- wards Lord, Handyside. Again Edinburgh, 1874, 8vo ; Glasgow, 1888, 8vo. Lyrics, Glasgow, 1885, 8vo ; Law Lyrics, second edition, Paisley, 1887, 8vo. More Law Lyrics, Edinburgh, 1898, 8vo. io LAWYERS' MERRIMENTS * * * A cow had been lent out for hire, Her milk was to stand for her keeping, But crummie grew tired of her byre, Of munching cold turnips, and sleeping; And so she got strangled past hope, But whether the rope the cow strangled, Or whether she strangled the rope, Was ever the point that was mangled. * * * At length, with the cow and the kink To settle, I made avizandum, But fear, that with bullets of ink, My shots will be sadly at random ; ! tempers of men are like chaff Which breath of two lawyers sets prinkling ; When tossing a groat, with a laugh, Could end the dispute in a twinkling. The author has no great respect for law books- Some curious things I never fail To find, my shelves among, A Stair, with neither steps nor rail, A Bell without a tongue, An Abbot that no priesthood fills, A Dove that scares freebooters, Rob Thomson's bills, Maclaren's wills, And courtly forms of Soutar's. 1 have no time for further fumes Regarding such fine persons As Dicksons, Erskines, Frasers, Humes, M'Glashans, and M'Phersons. But take the word of one who smacks His thigh, as teeth he gnashes; Let golden calves be on their backs, Their insides are like ashes. LAW LYRICS ii The settling of a draft is very neatly expressed Take black ink for the virgin draft, And scarlet to revise it, Take purple for a hindmost touch, And blue to emphasise it; Then of the various stoppered streams, Yield up the laurels triple To mildly flowing blue-black ink, Thou Prince of lawyer's tipple ! They may not always appreciate the serious view of a case in the Parliament House, but its humorous side is never overlooked. The division of the fees amongst the liquidators of the City of Glasgow Bank was much debated inside and outside the Court, and was thus touched off Behold how good a thing it was For James and Jamieson To hold themselves a unity And "only count for one." But lo ! when pay-day has arrived With money bags in view, These Siamese soon cut their cord, And shout, " We count for two." l Most of these jeux d* esprit did not survive the session ; but a few of those of the seventeenth and eighteenth centuries, and a considerable number of later date, have been preserved, and find a place in the pages of The Court of Session Garland? They deal to a large extent in 1 See City of Glasgow Bank Liquidators, 2Oth July, 1880, 7 R. 1196. 2 Edinburgh, 1839, 8vo ; Part Second, 11, 1839, 8vo; Supplement to the Court of Session Garland, Ib. 1839, 8vo ; Appendix to the Court of Session Garland, Ib. 1 839, 8vo ; Edinburgh, A Poem, by Thornton Thistle, Gent., London, 1840, 8vo, with Plates; Themifs Cat a.KTOv o-vyyivcixTKerai rots vo/zots TrpoenjKoi'TtoS. 3 Parts of the Senchus Mor, a treatise on Irish law, of the fifth century are in regular verse; not merely in metre, like blank verse, but in rhyme. 4 Possession was established according to the old law of Ireland by a statement in the 1 Ortolan, History of Roman Law, by Pritchard and Nasmith, p. 99, London, 1871, 8vo. 2 Irving, Introduction to the Study of the Civil Law, p. 73, London, 1837, 8vo. 3 Synopsis legum, verses 1134, 1135, Paris, 1632, 8vo. Psellus, it has been said, was servile and unscrupulous, weak, fond of intrigue, in- tolerably vain and ambitious. But as a literary man his intellect was of the highest order. In the extent of his knowledge, in keenness of observation, in variety of style, in his literary output, he has been compared to Voltaire ; but it is perhaps as the forerunner of the great Renaissance Platonists that he will be chiefly remembered. 4 Ancient Laws of Ireland, i. (Senchus Mor), p. xli ; Ginnell, The Brehon Laws, p. 78, London, 1894, 8vo. 24 LAWYERS' MERRIMENTS songs of a poet; 1 and even Sir Edward Coke, following the civilians, appeals to the authority of poets Authoritates philosophorum medicorum, et poetarum sunt in causis allegand PP- IO - The preface is dated, Paris, ist October, 1827. The poem is dedicated to Major Edward Blewitt, of Llantarnam Abbey, in the county of Monmouth, the author's father. 6 16. pp. 25, 26. 76 LAWYERS' MERRIMENTS * * * He bore no rival in his high career, As Leach can tell, at whom he lov'd to sneer : To Flattery he yielded blind assent ; On those who blam'd him hate itself was spent ; This Brougham 1 has felt tho' all his merit own, Deprived by malice of a silken gown. The reform of Chancery was a matter which long exercised the public mind. Lord Brougham declaimed against the shortcomings of the Court ; and Dickens exposed its delays in Bleak House. Extensive reforms were effected, and in 1850 an anonymous author writing under the pseudonym Terentius Carrighan, solicitor published The Chancery Student's Guide, in the form of a didactic poem, setting forth in metrical verse, the outline and leading features of a Chancery Suit, from beginning to end* The author felt that the obloquy which had formerly fallen upon the Court was no longer deserved, and set himself to prepare an outline of a suit in Chancery "to impress upon the Student's mind, through the interesting instrumentality of verse and rhyme, and the licence and concentration of subject ... a perfect outline and idea of a Chancery Suit, embodying and accurately detailing the various Times allowed, according to the authorities, for the different steps and proceedings therein." 1 A footnote explains that the name is pronounced " Broom." 2 London, 1850, 8vo. The author had long been interested in the reform of Chancery procedure. In 1826 he published A Letter to the Right Hon. Sir Robert Peel . . . concerning the doctrines and practice of the Court of Chancery ; and in 1850, Observations upon the effect of the Resolu- tions lately promulgated by . . . the Masters of Chancery . . . and suggesting a modification of the existing mode of proceeding. DIDACTIC POETRY 77 He thus explains the purpose of his poem Of Bills and Answers, and of Fees, Demurrers filed, and also Pleas, Of Issue join'd and Evidence, Of Scandal and Impertinence, Of Notices and Motions made, Of Costs and Charges, tax'd and paid, Injunctions and Contempts of Court, Of Orders to confirm Report, Of Bills confess'd, Revivor Suit, Decrees and Orders absolute, Of Orders made on long Petitions, Exceptions follow'd by Submissions, Of Country Causes, and of Town, Of Registrars in Wig and Gown, Of Infants lacking friends to right 'em, Of Guardians in the Suit ad litem, Of Causes heard and then appeal'd, Of Fi. Fa. Writs and others seal'd, Of Chancellor's and other Courts, Where Judges do review Reports, Of strife and litigation dire In lower Courts, and those up higher, I sing; do thou, Apollo, guide My Pen, while Pegasus I stride And bold essay the lofty theme Of Chanc'ry Suit, and steps between ; and, finally, his muse describes her object thus To teach the Young Idea to shoot, In what concerns a Chancery Suit, Is all her aim, and object true, And saying this, she bids Adieu ! The author's method of explaining procedure and the 78 LAWYERS' MERRIMENTS times allowed for each step, as to which he was so particular, are exemplified in the following lines Now let's suppose relief be sought By some one i' the Chanc'ry Court, The Plaintiff, much against his will, Both straightway file a Chanc'ry JjJill, And pray ^tibpxena Writ (his right), A process which begins the fight Writ serv'd, Defendant should, it's clear, Within eight days in Court Jtppear ; Excluding, be 't well observ'd, The day on which the Writ is serv'd But should Defendant not appear, Attachment goes, to bring him near Or Plaintiff may, an't please his whim, Within three weeks appear for him ; From thence to ^nstoer Bill in time Six weeks he hath, believe my rhyme; But should he wish a further space, And Master ask with brazen face, He'll give him surely three weeks more, Or e'en a month, if him he bore. The author, it will be observed, styles himself " solicitor." Nowadays every limb of the law, other than advocates or barristers that is, a member of the " short robe " as distinguished from members of the "long robe," 1 styles himself a "solicitor," but that is a misnomer. A " solicitor " is one who conducts pro- ceedings in Courts of Equity ; an " Attorney " is one 1 The short robe, " la courte robe," " la basse robe," refers to what is inappropriately termed " the lower branch of the profession " ; the " long robe " refers to an advocate or counsellor, the English barrister. The robe of the procurator of Paris was of wool (robe de laine), a stuff gown, as we would say, and his hood (chaperon) had no fur. The robe of the advocate was of silk, and his hood was furred. DIDACTIC POETRY 79 who conducts such proceedings in the Courts of Law; 1 while a Proctor the Scottish Procurator was one who conducted such proceedings in the Ecclesiastical Courts. 2 When in England law and equity were merged, "solicitor" was made the official title ; although Samuel Warren deprecated the use of the word as if it were more honour- able or preferable to that of " Attorney," the far more ancient of the two. 3 Scotch practitioners have followed 1 A Solicitor is defined in Johnson's Dictionary as "one who does in Chancery the business which is done by Attorneys in other Courts." ? They pleaded in Latin : " Thence to Bow Church, to the Court of Arches, where a judge sits, and his proctors about him in their habits, and their pleadings all in Latin," Pepys' Diary, 4th February, 1662-3. The Judge and Advocates of the Court of Arches wore scarlet robes with hoods lined with taffety (if bred at Oxford), or white miniver fur (if at Cambridge), and round black velvet caps. The Proctors wore prunella gowns with hoods lined with fur. In other ecclesiastical courts the doctors and others wore only black gowns. Floyer, The Proctors Practice, p. 6, London, 1746, 8vo, second edition. As to the dress of Attorneys, see note by Sir John Hawkins, Ignoramus, Gomcedia, pp. 57, 58, London, 1787, 8vo. He points out that the gowns now worn by English barristers are in accordance with ancient custom. See "Legal Costume" in the Journal of Jurisprudence, xxviii. (1884), pp. 62, 124; and Report of the Committee [of the Faculty of Advocates] on Silk Gowns and Pleading within the Bar, 1859, drawn up by Patrick [afterwards Lord] Fraser. " Der Schwarze Mantel " in Weissler, Geschichte der Rechtsanzvaltschaft, p. 310, Leipzig, 1905, 8vo. Towards the middle of the seven- teenth century, Attorneys began to wear swords as part of their ordinary costume. Campbell, Lives of the Chief Justices of England, i. p. 585. 3 The moral, social and professional duties of Attornies and Solicitors, p. 345. "A gentleman pressing into a crowded court, complained that he could not get to his counsel. Lord Tenterden : * What are you, sir I ' Gentleman : ' My Lord, I am the plaintiff's solicitor." Lord Tenterden : * We know nothing of Solicitors here, sir. Had you been in the respect- 8o LAWYERS' MERRIMENTS suit, and designate themselves " solicitors," which is absurd, as the word has no place and no meaning in Scotland as applied to a law agent. 1 able rank of an Attorney, I should have ordered room to be made for you,'" Campbell, Lives of the Chief Justices of England, iii. p. 293. Till late in the eighteenth century, Solicitors were looked upon by Attorneys as an inferior class. See the definition of " Solicitor " in Cowell, Law Dictionary, 1728 ; N. and Q. 6th S. i. p. 409. "To our age are stepped up a new set of people called Solicitors, unknown to the records of the law, who, like the grasshoppers in Egypt, devour the whole land," Michael Hudson, The Divine Right of Government, 1647. Chief Baron Gilbert complains of the inferiority of the Solicitors of his day, as compared with the Attorn eys-at-Law. Fleet and Wapping, Solicitors, was the synonym for those of the lowest type. Every broken tradesman, he said, turned solicitor. History and Practice of the Court of Chancery, quoted as Forum Romanorum, c. xi. p. 2 1 2 ; Reprint, Washington, 1874, 8vo. The old usage was to speak of " a Solicitor in Chancery." 1 " The party was augmented by a man of law, Nichil Novit, writing himself procurator before the Sheriff-Court, for in those days [circa 1730], there were no Solicitors," Scott, The Heart of Midlothian, c. 8. There is, however, later authority for the use of the word ; A.S. loth August, 1754, " Concerning the Admission of Agents and Solicitors"; Cf. A.S. 1 7th January, 1756; and Lord Dun, Friendly and Familiar Advices, pp. 28, 42, Edinburgh, 1754, I2mo. The Small Debt Act of 1825 (6 Geo. IV. c. 48) refers to "Solicitor or Procurator in any inferior Court in Scotland," but this was probably introduced by an English draftsman. So too in the Charter of the Faculty of Procurators of Glasgow in 1796 it is recited that members "have been in the use of enjoying the exclusive privilege of acting as Solicitors before every Court in Glasgow," an expression no doubt inserted in the Privy Council Office in London. The familiar initials W.S. have been expanded " Wise Solicitor," Scottish Journal of Topography, ii. p. 269 : although rendered more correctly in French " Un Greffier au sceau," VHermite en Ecosse, i. pp. 21, 25, Paris, 1825. DIDACTIC POETRY 81 Attorneys have had their poet as well as the solicitors. The Law Scrutiny ; or, Attornies' Guide, is a Dublin publica- tion, and, although it refers to abuses in procedure in the Courts of Common Law, it is largely a vituperative attack on Irish practitioners of the day. 1 The versification is easy and fluent and well turned What mis'ries spring from Law's perverted source, What wrongs arise from knav'ry, what from force, I sing : oh ! Thou, who seest the wretch's tears, And from his cell the pris'ner's sorrow hears ! Thou know'st no fancy'd tales of woe I feign, But for thy noblest work, for man complain. When Israel's sons for cruel masters wrought, The more they labour'd, still the more they sought : Thus, with a barb'rous cruelty, no less Our Law task masters, free-born men oppress, And the small debt the wretch could not discharge When, bless'd with Liberty, he rang'd at large; While yet his mind, and best exertions free, Could scarcely save from sinking poverty. Ere yet his friends, scar'd at Misfortune's look, His ruin'd fortunes, and himself forsook; Ere yet a wife, with grief and anguish pale, Conducts his trembling offspring to a gaol ; The harden'd fiend would from a prison draw, Swell'd up with fines, and multiply'd by Law. * # * Between th' Attornies' and a Tinker's trade, The following just comparison is made : For every hole which Tinkers mend, they make Another hole or two for mending sake ; Whate'er to them is for improvement brought, They leave, before they're done, not worth a groat. 1 Dublin, 1807, izmo. F 82 LAWYERS' MERRIMENTS A Tinker, like the Law, on breaches thrives; Unless well watched, some roguery contrives; Th' employer's eager expectation buoys By hammering on, and keeping up a noise, But seldom what he promises performs, And quells your anger with superior storms; His work still dirty, and his hands still black, Surly if near, abusive at your back; While he's at work, the fuel you supply, When done, no recompense can satisfy. The invective is too personal to have much interest at the present day, except to those at home in the local history of the time ; and the satire has not sufficient point to make it live. LAW REPORTS IN VERSE. Legal procedure has stimulated legal humour; and some lawyers have thought that their genius for poetry might be usefully employed in providing metrical versions of the Law Reports. Turning to the latter subject first. Cowper remarks that " poetical reports of law cases are not very common ; yet it appears to me desirable that they should be so. Many advantages would accrue from such a measure. They would, in the first place, be more commonly deposited in the memory, just as linen, grocery, and other matters, when neatly packed, are known to occupy less room, and to lie more conveniently in any trunk, chest, or box to which they may be committed. In the next place, being divested of that infinite circumlocution, and the endless embarrassment in which they are involved, by it, they would become surprisingly intelligible, in com- LAW REPORTS IN VERSE 83 parison with their present obscurity. And, lastly, they would by that means be rendered susceptible of musical embellishment ; and instead of being quoted in the Courts with that dull monotony which is so wearisome to by- standers, and frequently lulls even the judges themselves to sleep, might be rehearsed in recitation, which would have an admirable effect in keeping the attention fixed and lively, and could not fail to disperse that heavy atmosphere of sadness and gravity, which hangs over the jurisprudence of our country. I remember, many years ago, being informed of a relation of mine, who in his youth had applied himself to the study of the law, that one of his fellow-students, a gentleman of sprightly parts, and very respectable talents of the poetical kind, did actually engage in the prosecution of such a design, for reasons, I suppose, somewhat similar to, if not the same, with those I have now suggested. He- began with Coke's Institutes : a book so rugged in its style, that an attempt to polish it seemed an Herculean labour, and not less arduous and difficult than it would be to give the smoothness of a rabbit's fur to the prickly back of a hedge-hog. But he succeeded to admira- tion, as you will perceive by the following specimen, which is all that my said relation could recollect of the performance Tenant in fee Simple, is he, And need neither quake nor quiver, Who hath his lands Free from all demands To him and his heirs for ever. 1 1 Letter to the Rev. William Unwin, December, 1780 ; The Life and Letters of William Cowper. By William Hayley, i. p. 194, London, 84 LAWYERS' MERRIMENTS How far the poet was serious in this disquisition may be a question. The letter from which the passage is taken concludes with his own report of the leading case, Nose v. Eyes, above referred to. 1 Cowper refers to Coke's Institutes ; but apparently in ignorance that the Reports had actually been put into verse, as far back as I742. 2 Their popularity, it is said, was much increased by their publication in this form. 3 The subject of the Reports is so foreign to any save English lawyers, that it is difficult to find illustrations that are intelligible. The Post nati or Calvin's case which affected Scotsmen is thus expressed Calvin : Scotch ante nati aliens were, But post nati in England subjects were. The law as to swans is summed up thus Swans, white, not marked, their native freedom gain In common river, and to King pertain. The rule in Shelley's case is shortly stated Shelley : Where ancestors a freehold take, The words (His heirs) a limitation make. 1824, 8vo ; Correspondence of William Cowper, ed. Wright, i. p. 253, Ib. 1904, 8vo. Cowper, it will be remembered, was not wholly an outsider. He spent three years as an articled clerk in a solicitor's office. 1 It is also added to a letter to Joseph Hill, December 25, 1780. Life and Letters, i. p. 191 ; Correspondence, i. p. 252 ; supra, p. i. 2 The Reports of Sir Edward Coke, Knt., inverse. In the Savoy, 1742, 8vo. They were edited by John Warrell, the law-bookseller of Bell's Yard. A second edition was published, London, 1825, I2mo ; and a third, Ib. 1826, 8vo. 3 Campbell, Lives of the Chief Justices of England, i. p. 340. LAW REPORTS IN VERSE 85 The gist of Hubbard's case is given thus Hubbard : If lord impose excessive fine, The tenant safely payment may decline. Here is a warning to parsons Caudry : 'Gainst common prayer if parson say In sermon aught, bishop deprive him may. The maxim, " An Englishman's house is his castle," appears thus Semayne : Upon extent by subject, house To break, the law not to the shrieve allows. The English State Trials have also been attempted in verse, by Nicholas Thirning Moile, a barrister of the Inner Temple : 1 but his work is of a different character from those we have been dealing with. He makes no attempt to put the substance of a trial into a couple of lines, as in the case of Coke's Reports. He selects three trials those of Anne Ayliffe, for heresy ; Sir William Stanley, for high treason ; and that of Mary Queen of Scots and treats them as dramatic poems. His work is introduced by a long and amusing preface " to prove that the work is poetry, and ought to please." In recent years the task of compressing the report of a law case into short compass and presenting it in metrical form has been attempted by several authors. The most notable and the most successful is Sir Frederick Pollock, 1 State Trials : Specimen of a new Edition, London, 1838, 8vo; again, 1842, I2mo. William Howitt speaks of the book as one of singular beauty, and says that his review of it (Eclectic Review, 1839, p. 385), brought it into notice. Moile was also the author of Cicero, a Drama, London, 1847, 8vo ; and of Philip the Second, a Tragedy, Ib. 1849, 8vo. 86 LAWYERS' MERRIMENTS Corpus Professor of Jurisprudence in the University of Oxford, and editor of the Law Reports. 1 Most of the pieces are too long for quotation ; but " The Wisdom of the law concerning Married Women " is summed up in the reports of five cases MANBY v. SCOTT, &c. Herkneth this time and learn of me How this our law and mystery In ruling all men's property, And most of folk that wedded be, Of wisdom is fulfilled well. All ye wives whose hap thus was To show this marvel of our laws, This tale is yours to tell. The wisdom of the law concerning married women. Manby -u. Scott (z Smith L. C. 466). DAME SCOTT. I am the wife of Edward Scott, That walked full daintily I wot, With silk and samite clothed upon. The worth of it by ells was told To forty pounds of the fine gold, All in my lord's derision. By mighty argument was found His credit might not so be bound, The mercer had confusion. COUNTESS OF STRATHMORE. I am the Countess of Strathmore. Countess of Strath- I married Bowes and rued it sore, Yet spoiled his uttermost intent. By cozenage and false championry more i/. Bowes ( i Ves. Jr. 22 ; i R. R. 76). 1 Leading Cases done into English, by an Apprentice of Lincoln's Inn,. London, 1876, 1877 ; and again, 1892, 8vo. The last edition includes some other " Diversions." LAW REPORTS IN VERSE 87 Him seemed he had my wealth in fee, And it was all in settlement. Great words he spake in this despite Of fraud and his marital right, In vanity his words were spent. MRS. GALLAGHER. The mystery of wives' separate trade Johnson v. Gallagher By me Jane Gallagher was made In latter days elucubrate. Thing -Fait deed ; I writ no writing, sealed no thing, "Indite and make a T , , c ' , , ,. thing." 1 dealt after a man s dealing, Until my debt was heavy and great. Judgment of Turner, By rede of the one Lord Justice, Li^Kdi, Albeit it was newfangledness, seeL. R.,4P.C.S9o- This will bind separate estate. To tell now in what wise was meant Married Women's This law should have additament Property Acts 1870, B w j sc [om of the Parliament, and 1874. Their ' general utility. Whereof our scriveners, as men seen, Reck no more than an old bean, As now it is not mine intent, The tale were too long, By these ensamples ye may find What power han wives to loose and bind ; This ends my little song. Sir Frederick Pollock's volume was followed in a few years by Legends of the Leading Cases; or, Law and Laughter, by Touchstone 1 (a pseudonym for John William Brodie Innes, barrister), written, as a reviewer in the Spectator says, " with a certain Ingoldsby smartness." A considerable number of Reports of cases are included 1 London, 1881, 8vo. 88 LAWYERS' MERRIMENTS in the Lays of the " Town Clerk of Stourmouth," most of which are very successful. As an example take one of the shorter PATERSON v. GANDASEQUI. Should you ask me whence these stories, Whence these tales of Gandasequi, I should answer, I should tell you, " From Smith's well-known Leading Cases, Smith, J. W., the learned ; Volume two, the ninth edition." Gandasequi, wealthy merchant, In Madrid the splendid dwelling, Came to England, came to London, Came and called on Larrazabal, Menojo, and Trotiaga, London merchants, they, his agents : Said, " I'll give you two per centum For commission on your purchase, Purchases for Gandasequi." Then to Paterson a message They despatched, and he upon them Called, and with him brought his samples. In the counting-house he showed them, Counting-house of Larrazabal. Gandasequi looked upon them And debated of their prices ; Then he ordered many stockings, Ordered several hundred dozens. Gladly Paterson despatched them Invoiced all to Larrazabal, Till the news upon the market Spread among the frighted merchants " Larrazabal and Menojo, And their partner Trotiaga, LAW REPORTS IN VERSE 89 All are bankrupt banco rupto \ " Then did Paterson for payment Gandasequi press, and sue him. Ellenborough, Lord Chief Justice, Tried the case in London City. " No," said he, " for Larrazabal To your knowledge was an agent. You to him the goods have invoiced, Knowing well for whom he acted ; You elected Larrazabal For your debtor." And, so saying, Straight a non-suit he directed. 1 The late Mr. William Galbraith Miller (1848-1904), advocate, Lecturer on Comparative Jurisprudence and International Law in the University of Glasgow, published anonymously The Points of Leading Cases in Private Inter- national Law done into Doggerel? The author's anxiety to be concise occasionally makes the meaning obscure, but on the whole the cases are well stated STAVERT v. STAVERT. There once was a lady called Stavert ; With divorce she her husband would have at : But his domicil Was an English one still, And so the Scotch Courts he did laugh at. 1 Lays of a Limb of the Law, p. 24. 2 Edinburgh, 1896, 8vo. Mr. Miller was fond of verse-making, and wrote many humorous pieces on legal subjects. See William Galbraith Miller, by H. C. Miller, Glasgow, 1904, 8vo. 90 LAWYERS' MERRIMENTS EWING v. ORR-EWING. A furious battle once was fought, In Ewing v. Orr-Ewing ; For when there's money to be got, Then Chancery's up and doing. The House of Lords at first declared That Chancery was in order ; The Lion Rampant then was heard On both sides of the Border. The House of Lords as Scots affirmed Appointment of a factor ; But Justice need not feel alarmed, For no one had attacked her. STUDD v. COOK. The testator in Studd v. Cook Made his will by an English Book : The phrases were queer, But his meaning was clear, So the heir-at-law nothing took. There are some excellent poetical versions of reported cases in Ballads of the Bench and Bar. Lord Deas' (1804-87) opinion in the case of Baird v. Baird's 'Trustees 1 is admirably summed up in some verses ascribed to William Watson (1827-99), afterwards Lord Watson. BAIRD v. BAIRD'S TRUSTEES. LORD D AS. What has fallen from your Lordships I consider perfect stuff, For a child like that, however rich, fifteen hundred's quite enough, That the Trustees have been liberal to me is very clear, Besides, with their discretion you've no right to interfere. 1 24th February, 1872, 10 M. 482 ; and Ib. p. 946. Mrs. Baird presented a petition to the court for an increased allowance from the trustees of her late husband in order to bring up their son in a manner suited to his station. In after life he was known as " Mr. Abington." LAW REPORTS IN VERSE 91 If your Lordships owned a million, and a heap of other pelf, You might give your wives a larger sum I might do so myself; But I see no reason why you treat these Trustees with such scorn, Unless it be that cocks make free with other people's corn. Here we have Lord Deas' sound common sense and brusque manner. In this instance, after-events showed that he was right ; and the course taken by the majority of the Court is not likely to be again followed. He had a singularly firm grasp of the principles of law, and a thorough knowledge of practice in every depart- ment. He could not be put off with a specious argument, or an ingeniously contrived tale. No judge had ever a greater capacity for getting at the merits of a case and putting law and facts in their true light. 1 He sometimes 1 The audacious story concocted by Jessie M'Lachlan (Irvine, Reports of Cases before the . . . Court of Justiciary, iv. pp. 220, 587) to clear herself at the expense of an innocent old man an unscrupulous attempt to commit a second murder fell to pieces under his analysis, and she was convicted. The Morning Journal collapsed in its efforts to back the romance ; but, a commission of inquiry was appointed, the death sentence was commuted, and Lord Deas when examined as a witness, in reference to the Courts of Law in Scotland, very much resented such interference with the administration of justice. This is his evidence : " The only thing that weakens to some extent the beneficial effect of our criminal system is, that, of late years at all events, it has been within the power of any individual, or set of individuals, by merely writing a letter to the Home Office, to obtain what cannot be designated otherwise than as a very irregular review, both of the verdict of the jury and of the sentence of the judge. I think that is calculated to weaken the hands of justice, and to mislead the criminal [pron. creemenal] classes, particularly in capital cases, because men and women, who to all human appearance ought to share the same fate, don't share the same fate. People are led more readily to give way to their passions, or to their avarice, and to sacrifice the lives of others, the more they are led to think that there are chances of escape, especially when there is always a last chance, which 92 LAWYERS' MERRIMENTS differed, as in the above case, from his brethren, but when he did so he was generally right. 1 With all his ability he must seem to them to operate apart from all law : and if in place of so escaping they find themselves on the gallows, from which others in the same position have been relieved, 1 call that unfair to the criminal classes. For instance, I tried at Dumfries a woman for what was certainly an atrocious murder ; she was condemned to death ; great efforts were made to get that sentence commuted ; but they did not succeed, and she was executed. After that I tried a woman at Glasgow for a still more atrocious murder ; she was convicted, and the usual sentence pro- nounced ; and the reflection that passed through my mind was, that surely here, at length, was a criminal for whom nobody would intercede. It turned out that the interference was beyond all precedent great. Both culprits accused innocent third parties. The difference between the cases was, that the Dumfries murder was induced by spite and hostility, while the Glasgow woman murdered her best friend in cold blood, for gain that was the main difference : but the Glasgow one was not executed." Third Report on the Courts of Law in Scotland, Evidence, Qu. 17, 549, Parliamentary Papers, 1870, vol. xviii. There is a grim humour in his lordship's recital of his feats as Advocate- Depute. His point was to show that under Scottish procedure, none except the really guilty were brought to trial. Here is his experience : "At Stirling, I brought to trial on the same circuit (1847), 22 prisoners, of whom 1 1 were imprisoned, 1 1 transported acquitted none. Then take the first circuit of 1848 ; at Glasgow I brought to trial besides fugitations 93 prisoners. Of these 34 were imprisoned, 57 were transported, I was sentenced to death acquitted none. At Inveraray, on the same circuit, there were tried 8, imprisoned 6, trans- ported 2 acquitted none. At Stirling, at the same circuit, there were tried, besides fugitations, 21, imprisoned 12, transported 9 acquitted none." Ib. Very different this from later times when we are told that an Advocate- Depute on circuit got only one conviction, and in that case the prisoner pleaded Guilty. Lord Deas never pressed the law against a prisoner see e.g. case of Davidson and Francis, Irvine, Reports, et supra, p. 9 1 . 1 E.g. his opinion in Wjper v. Harveys, 27th February, 1861, 23 D LAW REPORTS IN VERSE 93 verified, in his own person, the truth of the saying that no man should be his own lawyer. He insisted on preparing his own claim to be placed on the electoral roll, bungled it, and was rejected in the Registration Court. Another form of humour is to give a feigned account of a trial which actually took place. Between eighty and ninety years ago Glasgow and London were greatly excited over the case of Dick v. Fletcher. The defender was the Rev. Alexander Fletcher (1787-1860), a well- known member of the United Associate Church, and at that time minister of Albion Chapel, Moorfields, London. The pursuer was Miss Eliza Dick, daughter of the Rev. Dr. John Dick, of Glasgow ; the subject of the action was breach of promise of marriage. The case came on for trial in the Court of King's Bench, London, on I4th April, 1824, when the counsel for the defender admitted that the action was well founded, and made an apology to the pursuer. The counsel for the pursuer did not press for damages; a juror was withdrawn, and the defender undertook to pay all costs. The matter was then taken up by the Presbytery, and afterwards by the Synod ; when it was ultimately decided that Mr. Fletcher had been guilty of breach of promise of marriage, that he had acted with duplicity and had made calumnious charges against the pursuer's family, and accordingly suspended him from the exercise of his office for a certain time. A report of 606, dissenting from the other members of the Court, was ultimately- proved to be right. Lord Deas once remarked that, when he died, it would be found that he had left more poetry than law behind him. The poetry has not been found : the law still stands a monument to his learning and capacity. 94 LAWYERS' MERRIMENTS this trial was published by a " Member of Synod," l and was replied to in a bulky pamphlet by Mr. Fletcher. 2 These publications embody all the proceedings and all the correspondence. When the ferment was at its height there was published Trial of the Rev. Alexander Fletcher^ A.M., before the Lord Chief Justice of the Court of Common Sense and a Special Jury? In this production the trial is represented as having gone on. A jury consisting of Sir Walter Scott, Sir James Mackintosh, Kirkman Finlay, Thomas Campbell, Thomas Moore, John Gait, William Blackwood, and others was empanelled : Speeches by Counsel are given, witnesses examined and letters read : the judge charges the jury ; they find the defendant guilty. The author, judging from internal evidence, was not a professional lawyer, and, it is said, was no other than John Gait, the novelist, who is made to figure as one of the jury, but as to the authorship there is some uncertainty. 4 The object of the work was by setting out the facts as known, and using the documents which had 1 Trial of the Rev. Alexander Fletcher . . . before the United Associate Synod, London, 1824, 8vo. 2 An Appeal to the Public Opinion against the Associate Synod of Scotland, arising out of a case brought into the Court of King's Bench, which was there amicably settled, by Alexander Fletcher, London, 1824, 8vo. The author gives a long biographical account of himself, in which he claims to be a descendant of Andrew Fletcher of Salton, and of the royal family of Bruce. 8 London, 1825, 8vo. 4 The author wrote Trial of the Rev. Edward Irving, A.M., London, 1823, in similar style. In connection with Fletcher and his brother there also appeared The lives of the Saints ; or, the diverting history of Sandy and Bobby [i.e. R. and A. Fletcher : A satire in verse], 1825, 8vo. LAW REPORTS IN VERSE 95 been made public, to place the affair in a ludicrous light and to hold up the reverend defender to ridicule, which was materially assisted by two coloured plates, in one of which he is represented as standing on the cutty stool, in a white linen sheet, with a candle in his hand, while he is being rebuked by the minister from the pulpit in presence of the congregation. PLAIDOYERS BURLESQUES. In the works which have just been referred to the reports, which appear in metrical guise, are those of actual cases. Legal humour has, at all times, found scope in the preparation, both in prose and verse, of imaginary cases in a whimsical form. As far back as I56I, 1 there was published the Plaidoyers burlesques of M. Jacques Capel (1525-86), a notable French protestant lawyer. 2 Then in 1570 we had Deux 1 Perhaps we may take as a still earlier example Altricatw [sic] rusti- corum et ckricorum mota per eos coram domino papa tanquam iudice assumpto, a metrical tract of four leaves, published in the fifteenth century without the name of author or printer, the year or place of printing. There is a copy in the British Museum. It is in Latin rhyming verses ; and is an impeachment of the clergy by the laity. Ad ma iudicia primo nos citantet Iniuste pro lib'ito dictorum uexantes Comparentes graulter et ibi nos mulctantes Nullamque legitimam causam assignantes. Etsi nos contingeret forum declinare Casu nos deproperant excommumcare, 2 Capel or Cappell belonged to a family of lawyers. In 1565 he became counsellor of the parliament of Rennes, but had to retire five years later on account of his religious opinions. He had repeatedly to 96 LAWYERS' MERRIMENTS plaidoieries d'entre M. Proces, appelant . . . d'unepart et honor- able homme et M. de Eon Accord inthyme d'autre ; x and in 1608, Plaidoye sur la principaute des Sofs, avec F arrest de la cour intervenu sur iceluy d 1 autre? a pleading of the advocate Julien Peleus in favour of Nicolas Joubert, named Angou- levent, the prince of fools, concerning his principality. The Metamorphosis telte judiciarite* as explained in its title, is a collection of odd lawsuits and singular decisions, made by Matthias Abele von Lilienberg, J.U.D., Count Palatine, and chief secretary of mines in Styria. 4 take refuge in Sedan from his persecutors. His son Louis was a dis- tinguished theologian and Hebraist. 1 In the Meon Library. Catalogue de la Bibliotheque de M[eon~\, No. 2512. Inthyme = Intime = the respondent in an appeal case. L'Intime is one of the characters in Racine's comedy Les Plaideurs. 2 Cf. Legat testamentaire du Prince des Sots a M. C. d'Acreigne Tullois, advocat en parlement, n.p. n.d. 8vo. There were copies of the first and third in the Potier Library, No. 251, 252, Paris, 1870, 8vo. Followed by Plaidoye pour la defence du Prince des Sots, par L. V., Paris, 1617, 8vo. See Brunei, Manuel, s.v. " Prince des Sots." There was also Les Controverses des sexes masculins et feminins ; Requete baillee a dame Raison, Play day ers des parties et arrets, Tolose, 1534, fol. ; Paris, 1536, i6mo ; again, Ib. 1539, 1541. In the Meon Library there was an edi tion, Paris, 1 5 40. Catalogue de la Bibliotheque de M\eori\, No 1535. This is a poem in three books said to be composed by Gratien du Pont, Seigneur de Drussac. De Bure, Bibllographie instructive, No. 3061-3063. 3 Metamorphosis telee judiciariee. das ist : Seltzame Gerichts-H'dndel, samt denen hierauj gleichfaUs seltzam erfolgten Gerichts-Aussprtichen zusammen getragen, mit lustigen Anmerkungen erlautet, Linz, 1651-52, izmo, 3 parts; Ntlrnberg, 1655-58, 8vo, 2 parts; Ib. 1684, 8vo, 2 parts; Ib. 1712 8vo, 2 parts. The last is the seventh edition. The edition of 1651 has a curious engraved frontispiece " Balbier Miihl des papirenen Streitt Kunst." 4 As more fully expressed in the dedication of the edition of Metamor- phosis of 1667, and on the title pages of another of his works, he was THE CITATION From Damhoudere, Practique ludiciaire es Cavses criminellcs PLAIDOYERS BURLESQUES 97 The author's object was the amusement of his readers. All law pleas do not taste of gall, he remarks. The cases are taken from a great variety of sources, the Bible, history, travels, and miscellaneous literature, and include a good number of the catches and puzzles current in the middle of the seventeenth century. The cases are very fully stated, and it is difficult to find one, within moderate compass, for illustration. Case No. I. is the judgment of Solomon, as recorded in the first book of The Kings, c. 3, thrown into legal shape. After a statement of the facts, the Klag or Complaint is set out ; then follow the Answer, the Replication, with the inevitable Duplies, Triplies, and Quadruplies, the Judg- ment, the defender's representation (Eeglaktin-Antwori]^ as we would say, and the final Decision (super-Bescheid}} Case No. XXV. is after the style of Bullum v. Boatum : a mill-ass drank a bowl of malmsey, belonging to an apothecary, and the question of the miller's liability fell to be decided. Here, again, we have the Complaint, the Answer, Duplies, Triplies, and Quadruplies, an Interrogatory by the judge, and the Decision. It ends with the lines Gedenck du lieber Esel frey 1st das nicht Schad Ey, Ey, Ey, Ey. In Case XXX. a burgess purchased a score of pigs, which he entrusted to a peasant to pasture in the forest. When the peasant was driving them out a wolf seized one " einer Ittblichen Innerbergerischen Haupt-Gewerckschaft der Stahl- und Eisen-Handlung in Oesterreich und Land Steyr, ober-Secretarius." 1 In the Causes celtbres of Fran9ois Gayot de Pitaval, Infra, p. 100, there is a case in 1727 (vol. i. No. 5; Abrtge ii. part 6) of a child claimed by two mothers. G 98 LAWYERS' MERRIMENTS of them and carried it off to its den. A hunter, who was passing, saw this, set his dog at the wolf, recovered the pig, and walked away with it. The peasant met him, recognised the pig and claimed it, but the hunter declined to give it up, and so the burgess and the hunter went to law. The procedure is somewhat more elaborate. After the Quadruplies, come Bey-Abschied, apparently some- thing akin to our Interlocutor on relevancy, Rechtliche- Probation or judicial proof, Impugnation, challenge of evidence, and lastly End-Abschied, judgment on the completed proof. Case XXXI. relates to a cock, two hens, and a chicken, something like the case put by an old Scots lawyer to his apprentice Three neighbours had each a hen, only one egg was found, but no one could say which hen had laid it, but each made claim to it. How were the claims to be disposed of? By an action of multiplepoinding, said the sapient youth. Case XXXVIII. has reference to a rich father who, wishing to disappoint his worthless son, ordered in his last will that all his property should be buried with him. No sooner was the breath out of his father than the son consulted a smart lawyer (ein hirnschleifferisch Advocai), and on his advice took possession of all the property. The situation thus brought about is discussed through half a dozen pages. Case XLI. is a version of Susanna and the elders. 1 l Abele also wrote, Kiinstluhe Unordnung, Das ist : Wunder-Seltiame, n'temah in offentlichen Druck gekommene Gerichts und ausser Gerichts, dock warhaffie Begebenheiten . . . zusammen-getragen, Nurnberg, 1670-75, 5 parts, I2mo. The title page of parts 2-5 begins Vivat, and differs in some other particulars from that of part i. PLAIDOYERS BURLESQUES 99 Things quite as absurd occur in real life. Here is a Glasgow summons of the eighteenth century " William Honeyman, Esquire, Advocate, Sheriff-depute of Lanark, to " My officers, executors hereof, jointly and severally, specially constituted : It is my will ye summon'd John M'Indoe, journeyman white-iron smith, in Glasgow, to compear before me, or my substitute, within the Court- hall of the Tolbooth of Glasgow, upon the day of , in the hour of cause, to answer at the instance of James Fergus, leather-cutter in Glasgow : That where, about six weeks ago, at least within these last six months, the complainer, James Fergus, had a pair of fine Canary birds : That the hen of this pair had four fine eggs : and, after laying of them, the hen turned sickly : That the complainer communicated this circumstance to John M'Indoe, defender, who at this time had a pair of Canary birds, and his hen had three eggs : That the said defender bargained and agreed with the complainer to take his four eggs and lay them below his the defender's hen, and she would bring out the whole seven eggs; and whatever young ones were pro- duced from the whole seven eggs the complainer was to have the half thereof: That five birds were brought out from the seven eggs, but one of them died, and there still remains four birds, said to be fine cocks, in perfect good health, and able to pick seed for their own preservation : That the said defender now refuses to give the complainer any of the said four birds : Where- fore the said defender should be decerned, either to deliver to the complainer the one just and equal half of the said four birds, after drawing cuts for the first ioo LAWYERS' MERRIMENTS choice; or to make payment to him of the sum of One pound one shilling sterling, as the value thereof, or the value of his four eggs; together with fifteen shillings sterling of expenses of process ; or such other sum, less or more, as shall be modified at sentence : And there- fore the said defender to hear and see the premises verified and proven ; which being done, to hear and see himself decerned ut supra ; the which to do, or else to shew cause, &c. By this my precept, given at Glasgow this twenty-first day of July, seventeen hundred and eighty-six years." 1 Francois Gayot de Pitaval (1673-1743), a French lawyer and miscellaneous writer, published a long series of Causes celebres? some of which are of a ludicrous character, as, 1 The Edinburgh Law Journal, July-December, 1832, p. 253. The late Gabriel Neil was, I believe, in possession of the original; but the case was one before the Commissary, and not the Sheriff Court, which is borne out by an explanatory note in the Journal, that the Summons was found amongst the records of the Commissary Court at the Cathedral, and it is there that Mr. Neil is said to have got it. [Sheriff Barclay] Rambling Recollections, p. 74, Glasgow, 1880. My informant was the late Mr. Stephen Williamson (d. i6th May, 1865), an intimate friend of Gabriel Neil, and a notable book-collector in his day. Catalogue of the . . . library of the late Stephen Williamson, Esq., Merchant, Glasgow, Glasgow, 1865, 8vo. Five days' sale. 2 Causes celebres et interessantes, avec les jugements des cours souveraines qui les ont dedde'es, Paris, 1734-1743, i2mo, 20 vols., and 1738-1750, I2mo, 20 vols. There was a continuation by de la Ville, Ib. 1769, I2mo, 4 vols. A new edition of the whole was published at Amsterdam, 1764-75, izmo, 26 vols.; re-edited by Richter, Ib, 1772-88, 22 vols. There is an abstract of the contents of the collection in Catalogue of Books in Foreign Law . . . presented by C. P. Cooper to . . . Lincoln's Inn, p. 108 sqq. There is a convenient selection of the most interesting pieces by P. F. Besdel, a French refugee, Abrege des Causes celebres et interessantes, London, 1777, J2mo; Bath, 1793, I2mo, 3 vols. PLAIDOYERS BURLESQUES 101 for instance, that of the Advocates and Physicians of Lyons, who claimed to be exempt from taxation on the ground that they were noble in virtue of their profession. 1 But the most curious is La cause de Dieu, ou Societt qu'un marchand contracta avec Dieu* A jeweller, named Duhalde, having been unsuccessful in his efforts to make a business, resolved to enter into a partnership with God, thinking that his partner would assist him and help his enter- prises. He prepared a formal deed of partnership, for the period of five years from ist October, 1719, to ist October, 1724, brought in a capital of 15,000 livres, and left to his partner the work of getting business. The plan was a success ; his trade began to flourish, and at the end of the five years he had realised substantial profits. He proceeded to liquidate the business, and to the poor he made over the share of profits falling to his partner. There were, however, some valuable gems belonging to the partnership which he was unable to realise. Mean- while he died, in March, 1725, but each of the stones was found to be labelled with the words, " Moitid pour les pauvres " ; and in his will he threatened his heirs with the Divine wrath if they did not carry out in all points the contract he had made with the Almighty. The heirs did not regard the direction seriously, and looked upon the contract as void ; the widow maintained that it was a fraud upon the goods in community (un vol quonfait a sa communaute}. But the administrators of the hospital who were present at the taking of the inventory, claimed the share destined for the poor, and the Parliament decided in their favour, and thus confirmed the validity of the partnership made with God. 1 Vol. xvi. No. 91 ; Abrtge, vol. i. p. 168. 2 Vol. iv. No. 18. 102 LAWYERS' MERRIMENTS The Causes amusantes et connues l is a collection of droll memoires or arguments for parties, edited, it is said, by M. Louis-Theodore Herissant, advocate. 2 Many of them are accompanied by a statement of facts (le fait) ; and the reasons of appeal (les moyens} ; all are written in a light and pleasant style, and some are very amusing. A few of the titles will be sufficient as a sample " La Communaute des Chaircuitiers, centre celle des Patissiers ;" "Les Charbonniers centre les Savetiers;" "Pour payement d'un Portrait;" " Pour les Coeffeurs des Dames de Paris ; " and so on. The Ignoramus of George Ruggles (1575-1622), acted before King James VI., when he visited Cambridge, on 8th March, 1615, is a clever burlesque of English law proceedings of the period, and of the Norman-French in which they were carried on. It is also an excellent speci- men of macaronic composition. 3 Intrant IGNORAMUS, DULMAN, PECUS, Mus^us. IGNO. Phi, phi : tanta pressa, tan turn croudum, ut fui pene trusus ad mortem. Habebo aCtiOttem &C 1 Berlin, 1769-70, I2mo, 2 vols. 2 A Catalogue of Books on Foreign Law founded on the Collection ofC.P. Cooper in Lincoln's Inn (Jurisprudence of France), p. 114 ; Dupin (A. M. J. J.), Bibliotheque choisie, des livres de droit, No. 1304, Bruxelles, 1833, 8vo. The British Museum Catalogue, following Barbier, Dictionnaire des Outrages anonymes, s.v., gives Robert Estienne (1723-94), a Paris book- seller and author, as the collector. He was the publisher in Paris. Herissant (1743-1811) was called to the bar in 1765, but latterly devoted himself to literature. 3 Ignoramus, Comtzdia, ed. Hawkins, Londini, 1787, 8vo; see Dele- pierre, Macaroneana, pp. 198, 321, Paris, 1852, 8vo. PLAIDOYERS BURLESQUES 103 contra OmitCS & SiltQUlOS. Aha Mounsieurs, voulez voz intruder par jOtllt tenant ? il est playne case, il est point dro'ite de le bien seance. O valde caleor : O chattel, chaud, chaud : precor Deum non meltavi meum pingue. Phi, phi. In nomine Dei, ubi sunt clerici mei jam ? Dulman, Dulman. DUL. Hie, magister Ignoramus, vous avez Dulman. IGNO. Meltor, Dulman, meltor. Rubba me cum towallio rubba. Ubi est Pecus? PEC. Hie, Sir. IGNO. Fac ventum, Pecus. Ita, sic, sic. Ubi est Fledwit? DUL. IRon est inventus. Here is the settlement which Ignoramus proposed to make upon Rosabella IGNO. Ais ? dabo tibi bonam f UttCtUrattt ; faciam ames me plus & plus. Audi jUUCtUram tuam. Ego Ambi- dexter Ignoramus itlfCOtfO te uxorem meam Rosa- bellam in tafle Special de SttU tttanerit le Tongue- well, cum capital! messuaaio; & do tibi mnia <5l sinaula messuagia, tofta, crofta, cottagia, X columbaria, molinoina fullonica, aquatica, ventritica, aart)ina, tenements boscos, sub* boscos, jampna, brueria, moras, mariscos salsos, mariscos trescbos, juncaria, turbaria, alneta, moscbeta, communia pasture, liberam warrennam, piscariam, faloaoium; - There is also a curious piece, in Italian and English, La festa d'Overgroghi. Operetta Seria-Comica in due A ttl, ,.. parole Inglesi- Italiane dal Sig. Coccaliccki, which was reprinted by Maidment and published as "A Parliament-House Garland" under the title "Nugte If gales" [Edinburgh] circa 1840, in an edition of twelve copies 8vo. no LAWYERS' MERRIMENTS To seize on anither man's geer, (As the tangs ance a Highlandman fand), And whether the thief he be caught In the fact, or be gruppit out-fang, The law says expressly, and wisely, That chiel by the thrapple shall hang. And you John Black, there, the panel, Ye robbit, assaulted, and a', And sae, gang till an assize, Sir, And underlie pains o' the law. Take the evidence of a couple of the witnesses Enter PEPPERTAIL. AIR Braw Lads o' Gala Water. Comin' frae the toun o' Straiven, On my poor mare that had the spavin, I met the pannel near the Kirk o' Shotts, Like ony madman he was raivin. Black his hair and blue his coat, Tightly he did the gauger han'le, The mair he shuck the fallow by the throat, The steadier still I e'ed the pannel. Enter MATHEW MUTCHKIN. AIR Calder Fair. As I cam' hame frae Ruglin fair At e'en, whan it was dusky, I had enough and may-be mair, A drap oure muckle whisky. I saw twa fallows yoke thegither, Wha they war, the taen or tither, I ken na mair nor Abram's mither, I was blin' wi' whisky. PLAIDOYERS BURLESQUES in Lowrie Macwill o' Powmuddle, the chancellor of the Jury, thus announces their verdict AIR Ailly Croaker. In this case there's nae argument, Nae minor and nae major ; A chield had taen a glass, and had A towzle wi' a gauger. That there's nae proof o' robbery, To see, I think, ye canna miss; Sae we the pannel man acquit, No guilty, Sirs, Unanimous. Outram's pieces, " The Multiplepoinding," " The Pro- cess of Augmentation," " The Process of Wakening," " Cessio Bonorum," " Soumin an' Roumin," and "An Appeal from the Sheriff," are all excellent, and appeal irresistibly to the Scotch practitioner familiar with the procedure so humorously played with. " His legal lyrics," says an old friend and competent authority, " introduce us to some of the peculiarities of Scoth law, and show us their comic side with a rare and genial power scarcely ever attempted before, and certainly never at any time surpassed." l The most popular is " Soumin an' Roumin," but rather because of the name than for the account of the procedure. " The Multiplepoinding " is perhaps the most successful. We know, upon the authority of a notable litigant Poor Peter Peebles that " a multiplepoinding is the safest remedium juris in the whole form of process. I have known it," he says, " conjoined with a declarator of 1 Henry Glassford Bell, in Lyrics legal and miscellaneous, p. 10, Edin- burgh, 1874, 8vo. ii2 LAWYERS' MERRIMENTS marriage." 1 This is how Outram pokes fun at this somewhat complicated but useful process Hurrah for the Multiplepoinding ! hurrah ! What land but our own such a gem ever saw ? 'Tis Process of Processes Pride of the law Hurrah for the Multiplepoinding ! The Multiplepoinding, hurrah ! To the rich, to the poor, to the high, to the low, 'Tis open to all who a title can show It combines every comfort that litigants know Hurrah for the Multiplepoinding ! The Multiplepoinding, hurrah ! No matter in what shape your claim may emerge, By Petition or Summons, Suspension or Charge, Reduction, Declarator, all may converge And conjoin in the Multiplepoinding The Multiplepoinding, hurrah ! # * # The Process of Wakening is now out of date, but when I became an apprentice in 1858 we had a process in the office which had begun in 1817, and had by due wakening been kept going for the intervening forty-one years. It was an action of damages, and finally died a natural death some time in the sixties. The immortality of law suits has been a favourite theme of many satirists. Jean Passerat (1534-1602), the suc- cessor of Ramus in the chair of Eloquence at Paris, a jurist, and one of the authors of the Satyre 1 Scott, Redgauntlet, c. 13. 2 He is the author of the famous lines Sur lajournee de Senlis in which the Due d'Aumale's ability in running away is commended one of the most celebrated political songs in French. PLAIDOYERS BURLESQUES 113 the great manifesto of the politique or moderate Royalist party, when it had declared itself for Henry of Navarre having become involved in a tedious plea gave expression to his feelings in La Divinite des Proces, which concludes with a parallel between a woman and a process La femme et le proems sont deux semblables. L'une parle toujours, 1'autre n'est sans propos; L'une aime a tracasser, 1'autre hait le repos: Tous deux sont de'guise's, tous deux impitoyables. * # * Tous deux sans rien donner, prennent a tous mains. Tous deux en peu de terns ruinent les humains: L'une attize le feu, 1'autre allume les flammes. L'une aime le debat, et 1'autre les discords : Si Dieu doncques vouloit faire de beaux accords, II faudroit qu'aux proces il mariast les femmes. 1 Lord Neaves very neatly points out the pitfall that there is in a clause cum decimis inclusis when it is not followed by the essential condition et nunquam antea separatist 1 Les Poesies fratif aises de Jean Passer at, ed. P. Blanchemain, i. p. 71, Paris, 1880, I2mo, 2 vols. With the view of obtaining a more thorough mastery of Latin, Passerat studied law at Bourges, under Cujas, and lectured at Paris on the title De Verborum Significatione. There is a Complaint against protracted law suits addressed to James VI. in Pinkerton, Ancient Scottish Poems, ii. p. 335. John March (1612- 57), one of the commissioners for the administration of justice to the people, sent to Scotland by the Protector, made proposals for preventing tedious lawsuits, Amicus Re'ipubllcee, 1651, 8vo. A Spanish proverb says Pleyto en Huete, y vino a Cuenca : A law suit at Huete, and a vineyard at Cuenca. These they reckon trouble- some things, because they say law suits at Huete are tedious, and the vines at Cuenca are not good. 2 "Decimis Inclusis," Songs and Verses, p. 103. H n 4 LAWYERS' MERRIMENTS One of Mr. Bird's most happy efforts is " A Collision at Sea " The Welsh brig Susan Sly one day Was tacking out from Dover, When, cruising right upon her way, She spied the s.s. Rover. And strange to tell, like butting cows, As though some power had bid it, They tucked into each other's bows, And this is how they did it. The brig, upon the larboard tack, Was chopping brine like thunder, And Rover made a screwnail track, To pass her stern close under. The brig grew timid, luffed a bit, Then on again went thrashing ; The steamer ported in a fit, And figure-heads met crashing. Then, in the Admiralty Court, They sought the law's resources, And with worse actions, tried in port To mend their sad sea courses ; While genial, jovial Justice Butt, Exclaimed at the first hearing, "Another Gordian knot to cut, Of bad luck and bad steering." He seemed to see the whole affair As in a mermaid's mirror, And gave his judgment then and there, That both ships were in error ; Which meant that each their suit had lost, And bit were both the biters, While all the damage and law cost Fell on the Underwriters. PLAIDOYERS BURLESQUES 115 And now, such humbling scenes to save, What think you of this notion ? That ships should not each other shave Like barbers, in mid-ocean. For what is wrong can't be made right By heaping oaths on curses ; Though 'tis an easy thing to fight With other people's purses. 1 Legal humour is plentiful in Germany ; some examples have already been referred to, and others will be given later on. Der lachende Jurist? by Dr. Jacob Katzenstein, Rechtsanwalt in Munchen, that is, Fritz Rhoner, falls under the class of merriments we are now considering. Its point is the caricature of legal procedure, something after the fashion of The Court of Session Garland. One is Die Flohjagd (Strafprocess), in which there is a great deal about the Blutrttuber Pukx in the manner of " The Diamond Beetle " case. It is impossible at present to do more than mention Von Ihering's Scherz und Ernst in der Jurisprudent, which passed through ten editions between 1885 and 1909, and other works; 3 and Bekker's Ernst und Scherz ueber unsere Wissemchaft ; 4 and other similar works. Lyrics, p. 131, second edition. 2 Dresden, 8vo, n.d. 3 Civilrechtsfdlle ohne Entsche'idungen, Leipzig, 1847, 8vo; again, Ib. 1870; Das Trinkgeldj Braunschweig, 1882, 8vo, second edition. Die Jurlsprudenz des t'dgllchen Lebens will be referred to subsequently. 4 Leipzig, 1892, 8vo. n6 LAWYERS' MERRIMENTS CAUSES GRASSES. SHROVE-TIDE LICENCE. Most people have a general acquaintance with the peculiar ways in which our ancestors used to celebrate Shrovetide or Fastingtide. Pancake Tuesday and Collop Monday are still remembered, while cock-fighting, cock- throwing, and football playing were for long favourite amusements at this season in Scotland as well as in England. In France the legal fraternity, in most of the tribunals of the country, celebrated Shrove Tuesday by arguing fictitious causes, by way of recreation and merriment. The subjects of mirth were hardly such as would be selected nowadays marital infidelity, questions of legitimacy, pay- ment of a midwife's bill, and so on. The utmost licence was permitted on the day, of which the advocates fully availed themselves, and great crowds attended, more eager to hear these ridiculous pleasantries than solemn and modest discourses. 1 Claude d'Expilly (1561-1636), who was successively Advocate-General and President of the Parliament of Dauphine, appeared as Advocate-General in one of these causes grasses on Shrove Tuesday (mardi-gras) of 1605, and the argument he submitted is included amongst his 1 Boucher d'Argis, in Camus, Lettres sur la profession tTavocat, ed. Dupin aine, c. xiii. p. 46, Bruxelles, 1833, 8vo ; Dupin aine, Biblio- theque choisie des livres de droit, p. 340 ; Catalogue of Books on Foreign Law in the Collection of C. P. Cooper, in Lincoln's Inn (Jurisprudence of France ), p. 115; Catalogue of the Hibbert Library, No. 6225, London, 1829, 8vo. CAUSES GRASSES 117 published plaidoyers. 1 Another case of the kind is to be found in the plaidoyers of the celebrated Claude Henrys (b. 1615), in which he took part while holding the office of King's Advocate in the bailiwick of Forez. 2 It does not appear that this practice ever prevailed amongst the bar of the Parliament of Paris, but it flourished in the Basoche^ that curious tribunal of the clerks of that Parliament, which disposed of all differences amongst themselves. They also held mock trials and moot courts, to train themselves in the art of advocacy ; and Shrove Tuesday was annually devoted to trials of this kind. 3 1 Oeuv res a"ExpUly, Lyon, 1636, 410. This is the fifth edition ; again, Ib. 1657, 1663. The plaidoyer in question is No. viii. entitled Cause Grasse. After the taking of Chambery in 1630, Expilly became first president of the senate ; and when Chambery was surrendered to the Duke of Savoy, he returned to practice at the bar. He was an orator, lawyer, historian, and poet. His poems were published at Paris in 1596, and again at Grenoble in 1624, 1650, and 1651. His life was written by his nephew, Ant. Boniel de Cathillon, and published at Grenoble in 1660, 410. 2 Les Oeuvres de M. Claude Henrys, Paris, 1708, fol. 2 vols. ; again, Ib. 1738, 1772, fol. 4 vols. 'The plaidoyer in question is No. 6 of vol. iv. of the edition of 1772. 3 Boucher D'Argis, ut supra, p. 1 1 6 ; Genty, La Basoche Notariale, pp. 73, 85, 112, 114, 131, 132, and 147, Paris, 1888, 8vo ; Flogel, Geschlchte des Groteskekomischen, p. 304; Geschichte der komischen Litteratur, iv. pp. 245, 253 ; Saint-Edme, Dictionnaire de la Penallte, ii. p. 338. The custom still prevails at Amiens, Genty, p. 148. The Basoche d? Auxerre cele- brated the Feast of Fools on xoth July, Ib. p. 149. There is a note on the Basoche in Catalogue of Books on foreign Law, p. 234, supra, p. 116, note 2. The institution was known as the Kingdom of Basoche. Les complaintes et Epitaphes du roy de la Bazoche [? 1520], 8vo. A copy is in the British Museum ; Arret du royaume de la Bazoche donne au profit du sieur n8 LAWYERS' MERRIMENTS Trials of this description have never been in vogue in this country, but in recent times the Judge and Jury Society of Renton Nicholson (1809-61), established 8th March, 1844, over which he presided as "Lord Chief Baron," afforded much amusement for several years by its travesty of law proceedings. Members of both Houses of Parliament, statesmen, poets, actors, and others visited the Garrick's Head, and it was not an uncommon occur- rence to see the jury composed of peers and members of the lower House. The trials were humorous, and gave occasion for much real eloquence, brilliant repartee, fluent satire, and not unfrequently for indecent witticisms. Nicholson's position as a mock judge was one of the sternest realities of eccentric history. Attorneys when suing him addressed him as "my lord." Sheriff's officers, when executing a writ, apologised for the disagreeable duty they were compelled to perform " on the Court." Nicholson was called as a witness in a case in the Common Pleas, Bickley, an attorney, v. Tasker, a wine merchant Sergeant Byles " I believe, sir, you are at the Garrick's Head Chief Baron of the Exchequer ? " Witness " Very barren of the exchequer, sir, I am sorry to say." (Roars of laughter, in which the Chief Baron, Sir John Jervis, joined.) Dangoulevent, . . . contre les pretendus maitres et officiers dudit hotel contre leur prince, Paris, 1607; Recuell des 'statuts, ordonnances . . . et preeminences de royaume de la Bazoche, Paris, 1654, 8vo. See Catalogue de M[e'on\, No. 492. La Misere des Clercs deprocureurs, Poeme, Paris, 1628 ; Le Miroir de patience, Potme ; Adieu a met confreres les Clercs ; Les Amours de Grapignan, 1698, izmo ; De la Noblesse des Clercs, Ib. No. 491 ; a collection of these and four other pieces. See also Catalogue de la Bibliotheque de M. Felix Solar, No. 2176, Paris, 1860, 8vo. i D. N. B. s.v. CAUSES GRASSES 119 Sir John Jervis " I don't know if Mr. Nicholson has arrived at that dignity, but he is a very old client of mine." Witness "I feel greatly honoured by your Lordship's kind recognition." Sergeant Byles " Well, sir, you are termed the Lord Chief Baron of your mimic Court." Witness " I have that honour, sir." Sergeant Byles " Did the plaintiff ever bring an action against you for the defendant ? " Witness " Yes, sir." Sergeant Byles " Did he serve you with the writ himself ? " Witness " He did so, just as I was entering the Court." Sir John Jervis " Your own Court ? " Witness 11 Yes, my lord." Sir John Jervis " Did you not commit him ? " Witness " I regret exceedingly that I had not the power, my lord." Sir John Jervis " Surely you have the power of committing for contempt." Witness " If I had possessed it, my lord, I should in my time have incarcerated every officer of your lordship's Court." Sir John Jervis " They have all been anxious to serve you, then ? " Witness " Yes, my lord." Sir John Jervis " Mr. Nicholson, I sincerely hope you will avoid such difficulties for the future." 1 Nicholson "went circuit," and held his Court in various provincial towns. Amongst others he visited Glasgow, and was particularly patronised by Mr. Robert Baird, one of the " Black Knights of Gartsherrie," dean of guild of Glasgow at the time of his death, and originally a practising 1 The Lord Chief Baron Nicholson, an Autobiography [edited by Harry Brooks], p. 295, London [1860], 8vo. 120 LAWYERS' MERRIMENTS lawyer in the city, to whom he dedicated a valedictory address Farewell, thou land of industry ! I shall remember long Thy valleys low, thy mountains high, Thy chivalry and song. * * * And when I view the flames at night Which round thy city flare, Thy genius with the eagle's flight I'm tempted to compare. Blaze on, thou night-fed glaring links, Thou eagle-hearted fires ! Thou hast an eye which never winks, A wing that never tires. So may thy labour prosperous prove, By night as well as day ; Thy minstrels tell their tales of love, In Roby Burns's way ! l While the Judge and Jury Court caricatured legal pro- cedure, it was not properly a Lawyer's Merriment ; the proceedings were not conducted by lawyers, and their humour did not consist in a close but ludicrous representa- tion of the various steps in an actual suit. The sham suit was merely used as a vehicle for introducing jokes and witticisms for the amusement of the spectators. 2 1 lb. p. 340. 2 Bannister's Reports ; or, a series of adjudications before Lord Chief Justice Joker, in His Majesty's High Court of Fun, London, 1785, izmo, second edition, has very little to do with the law, but is merely a collection of anecdotes not specially amusing and not in particularly good taste. WHIMSICAL DISSERTATIONS 121 ELEGANTE JURISPRUDENZ. WHIMSICAL DISSERTATIONS AND THESES. There is a large literature of Theses, Disputations, and Dissertations of the sixteenth, seventeenth, and eighteenth centuries upon particular points of law, mostly prepared for graduation purposes. Many of these are upon out-of- the-way subjects which, for this very reason, are invested with a certain grotesqueness, although the dissertation itself is perfectly serious. There are others in which the subject itself is absurd, and is treated with the seriousness befitting a grave academic discourse. 1 These in Germany pass under the title Elegante Jurisprudenz. One of the most notable of these is the Dissertatio de PulidbuSy by OPiZius Jocoserius, 2 that is Ordinarius Professor Zaunschliffer, Otto Phillipp Zaunschliffer (1653-1729), professor of law in the University of 1 Paradoxes : ce sont propos contre la commune opinion, debatus en forme de Declamations forenses, pour exerciter les jeunes advocats en causes difficile;, Paris, 1553; Caen, 1554, 8vo ; Rouen, 1638, 12010; Argumentorum ludicrorum Scriptores, Lugd. Bat., 1623, izmo : enlarged and re-issued as Dissertationum ludicrorum et amoenitatum Scriptores varii, Lugd. Bat., 1638, izmo, 1644, I2r no. 2 OPiZii Jocoserii . . . Dissertatio jvridica de eo quod jvstum est circa spiritus familiares Feminarum, hoc est Pulices, Marpvrgi, 1613, fol. ; Ib. 1684, izmo, and often afterwards; Heilbronn, 1879, izmo, with introduction, bibliography, and notes by Dr. Sabellicus, pseudonym of Eduard Wilhelm Sabell, of Berlin. The dedication bears the initials E. W. S. Zaunschliffer used the initials O. P. Z. elsewhere : Exercitatio juridica de privilegiis Professorum . . . quam . . . subjicit O. P. Z. Resp. J. J. a Dohren, Marburgi Cattorum, 1685, 410. He was the author of a dissertation : Vindiciae vindiciorum triti illius ; Kauf geht vor Miethe, 1691, 410. 122 LAWYERS' MERRIMENTS Marburg. 1 In the dress of an academic dissertation treated humorously, it is, says its latest editor, "a Corpus Juris in miniature, a compendium of practical law, civil and criminal, canon and feudal. Science and romance go hand in hand ; life and poetry, the grave and gay, are united. The little work is an admirable handbook of jurisprudence, a kind of text from which a young lawyer may learn much, and it is at the same time an agreeable book for a leisure hour. Ridendo discimus. " The legal relations of fleas to men, and more par- ticularly to women, are discussed and settled on the basis of legal principles. The acuteness with which this is done, the legal and philosophic learning with which it is worked out, render it a most useful manual ; the wit, the roguish humour, which sparkle in the gravest expositions, along with the object of the dissertation, give us a very bright Vade mecum." Notwithstanding this glowing encomium, one is com- pelled to say that the Dissertation is but a dull affair, and is not nearly so bright, humorous, or learned as many others which are less known. Qu. vi. is " De pulice nobili ac plebeio." Is the flea of a lady of rank more noble and of better condition than that of a plebeian woman ? On this the author quotes the German custom, dass des Schult- heissen Kuh vorgehe the provost's cow takes the lead and appeals to the rule, Accessorium suum principals sequitur. Qu. xii. "Actio Injuriarum" is illustrated by the question whether one who has addressed a young woman as a Flohsack, Flohpek, Fltih-Beutel, Flsk-Thiergarten, or the like is liable to be sued in an action for damages. Qu. xiii. 1 See Sabellicus, supra ; Hugo, Lehrbuch der Geschichtc des rotnischen Rechts, seit Justinian, iii. p. 521, Berlin, 1830, 8vo. WHIMSICAL DISSERTATIONS 123 "An Deus sciat omnes pulices?" is irreverent, but not witty. Qu. xxiii. " Quaestio elegantissima " turns out to be "Anne pulex inter res mobiles an immobiles sit referendus?" Again resort is made to the doctrine of accessory and principal, and also to the rule that fructus pendentes pars suntfundi. Almost the only ray of humour is in Qu. v., whether a monk's flea in matters criminal is to be convened before the secular or the ecclesiastical Court? Zaunschliffer's dissertation gained some adventitious notoriety, about eighty years ago, in connection with Goethe. In 1824 a book was published at Halberstadt under the title " Goethe als Mensch und Schriftsteller," which professed to be a translation from the English of Frederick Glover, an English naval officer. There was no such original, and the book seems to have been the work of Professor Christian Heinrich Gottlob Koechy (1769-1828). Its professed object was to publish Goethe's dissertation for his doctor's degree, which was effected by printing the Dissertatio de Pulicibus, and attributing it to the poet. It has been repeatedly reprinted as Goethe's work, although it was generally known that it was not. Writing in 1830, Hugo says that "recently the work of Zaunschliffer has for some inconceivable reason been pub- lished as the work of a very late and very celebrated writer." That this was done to annoy there is no doubt, but what Koechy's grievance was does not appear. There was some mystery as to Goethe's degree of doctor. He graduated as licentiate at Strassburg in 1771 ; he certainly had the doctorate, but when or how obtained is not known. 1 It was to give this information that the work in question 1 Lewes, Life of Goethe, p. 87, London, 1864, 8vo. i2 4 LAWYERS' MERRIMENTS was published, and the contents show that the object must have been pure mischief. Fleas have a considerable literature, of which there is a bibliography by Eduard Wilhelm Sabell, or, as he styles himself, Dr. Sabellicus. 1 In 1710 a volume of tracts was published at Nuremberg, Tractatus varii de Pulicibus? containing the Dissertatio juridica Opizii, that is, Zaunschliffer's Dissertatio > two by Jacobus Masenius, the one in praise and the other in blame of fleas, and the fourth piece, the Floia of Knick- nakkius. The Floia is a macaronic poem, but has nothing to do with the law. The name of the author is evidently onomatopoetic, and is a pseudonym for Janus Caecilius Frey (1580-1631), a German by birth, a doctor of medi- cine of Paris, and physician to Queen Mary de Medici. 3 It was first published in 1594, and passed through numerous editions. 4 1 In his edition of Floia, Cortum venicale de Flohis, Autore Griffbldo Knickknackio ex Flo'ilandia, Heilbronn, 1879, 8vo. See also Dornavius, Amphitheatrum Sapientite, i. p. 21, Hanoviae, 1619, fol. 2 Tractatus varii de Ptilicibus, Utopiae [Nuremberg, 1710?] I2mo; again, Ib. [1715 ?], I2mo. A book of extreme rarity. Both editions are in the British Museum. One was in the Meon library ; Bibliotheque de M[/on~\, No. 2872. Brunet apparently had not seen the book. 3 There were editions in 1614, 1627, and 1635 ; and it also appeared in the numerous editions of the Nugte Venales, 1632, 1635, 1642, 1662, 1689, 1720, 1741, and of the Facetiee Facetiarum, e.g. Francof. 1615 ; Pathopoli [FLeyden], 1645, 1657. The latest edition is that of 1879 mentioned above. Frey addressed a poem to Queen Mary, Maria Medices Augusta regina Elogia, Paris, 1628, 410, in which each word begins with the letter M. Notwithstanding, he was left to die in the hospital. 4 Fl5gel, Geschichte des Burlesken, p. 228. WHIMSICAL DISSERTATIONS 125 Angla Floosque canam, qui waffunt, pulvere swarto, Ex wateroque simul fleitenti, et blaside dicko, Mullipedes deiri, qui possunt hiippere longe Non aliter, quamsi floglos natura dedisset, Illis sunt equidem, sunt inquam, corpora Kleina, Sed mille erregunt menschis martrasque plagasque Cum steckunt snaflum in livum, blantumque rubentem Exsugant. * * * M. Octave Delepierre remarks that the bad taste in the selection of the subject is not redeemed by verve and spirit. 1 Another famous dissertation is Quod Mulieres non sunt Homines, 2 which, although referred to as a legal work, is not so, but is in reality a parody of the Socinian argument against the Godhead of Christ. It was taken as a serious composition by Simon Gedik, pastor at Merseburg, who replied to it in I595 3 and hurled all sorts of abusive epithets at the head of the unknown author Satan, beast, ass, blasphemous devil, and so on. The right of a testator to give directions regarding the disposal of his own body after death arose in England a 1 Macaroneana, p. 316, Brighton [Paris printed], 1852, 8vo. z Dissertatio quod Mulieres non sunt Homines, Lips. 1595, 4to. Replied to by F. H. Hoeltich, Disputa tio fcemina non est homo, Viteb., 1688, 410 ; Hag. Com., 1744 ; Dufour, Questions lllustres, p. 103 ; see also Paradoxes sur les femmes ou I* on tache de prouver qtfelks ne sont pas de Fespece humaine, Cracovie, 1766, I2mo. 3 Disputatio perjucunda qua Anonymus probare nititur Mulieres homines non esse ; cut opposita est Simonis Gedicci defensio sexus muliebris, Hag. Com., 1638, 8vo, second edition; Ib. 1641, 1644, 24010 ; Paris, 1693, I2mo, n.p. 1695, 410. FlSgel, Geschichte des Burlesken, p. 259 ; Journal filr Deutschland, ed. Buchholz, xiii. p. 113 ; De Bure, Bibliographic Instructive, No. 4000. 126 LAWYERS' MERRIMENTS few years ago, 1 but, like most questions, was not new, having been discussed by Jakob Heinrich Kurella (1713-64), pro- fessor and criminal magistrate at Konigsberg, in 1 740. 2 Testamentum omne morte consummatum is a well-known maxim, but how is it to be applied in the case of a revenant, such as Lazarus ? Could Lazarus after his resurrection have reclaimed his property from those to whom he had granted a disposition of it to take effect after his death ? The question was mentioned by Sir Thomas Browne ; 3 and was subsequently discussed with much learning by Verduyn, a doctor both of laws and of medicine. 4 Puffendorf took it up and decided in favour of Lazarus, 5 and it was touched upon by John Maclaurin, afterwards Lord Dreghorn. 6 1 Williams v. Williams (1882), L.R. 20 Q.B.D. 659 ; see also Reg. v. Sharpe, Dearsly and Bell, Crown Cases Reserved, 160 ; The Queen v. Price, L.R. 12, Q.B.D. 247. The result flows from the rule that there is no property in a dead body. A question regarding a human body arose in the Sheriff Court at Glasgow in the case of a poinding. A creditor having poinded the effects of a showman, a suspension was brought upon the ground that the principal exhibit was a dried body, which had been found in one of the guano pits of Peru, and that it was not a subject of diligence because corpus humanum non recipit eestimationem. This, however, was set aside. The mummy was a source of considerable profit, and it was held that there was property in it which could be attached and made available to the creditor. 2 De testamentaria circa Corpus dispositione, Regiomonti, 1740, 410. z Re/igio Medici, Sect. xxi. Works, ed. Wilkin, ii. p. 350, London, 1883, 8vo. 4 Henricus Verduyn, Disquisitio juridica de testamento et heereditate Lazari bis mortui, aliorumque bis mortuorum, ed. Boel, Amstelodami, 1705, izmo; see also Johann Friederich Loesoler, De mortuis redivivis, Lipsiae, 1732, 4to. 5 Droit de Nature et des Gens, iii. c. 6, and Barbeyrac's Note. 6 Observations on some Points of Law, p. 162, Edinburgh, 1759, 8vo. This work was published anonymously, but there is no question as to the authorship. WHIMSICAL DISSERTATIONS 127 The latter states a fresh case : A married person dies and is subsequently restored to life by a miracle, but in the meantime the surviving spouse re-marries. Would the second marriage be a lawful one ? He answers in the affirmative, upon the ground that the first marriage was dissolved by death. He mentions the case of a woman who was condemned to be executed for murder, and was hanged accordingly. When she was cut down from the gibbet she was, to all appearance, dead, and her body was handed over to her friends, who took it away in a cart. On the journey, she began to show symptoms of life, and ultimately recovered. The woman's husband, notwithstanding all that had happened, desired to take her home again, but consulted the parish minister as to whether she was still his lawful wife. The reverend gentleman insisted on their being re-married, but Maclaurin considers that he was over scrupulous, " for the resolutive condition in the marriage contract //'// death shall part you, had not existed." THE LEGAL PROSECUTION AND EXCOMMUNICATION OF THE INFERIOR ANIMALS. This was a curious vagary of lawyers, but it is im- possible to do more than refer to the subject at the present time. On the Continent, down to a comparatively late period, the lower animals were, in all respects, considered amenable to the laws. Domestic animals were tried in the common criminal Courts, and their punishment on convic- tion was death; wild animals fell under the jurisdiction of the Ecclesiastical Courts, and their punishment was banishment and death by exorcism and excommunication. 128 LAWYERS' MERRIMENTS Signer Carlo d'Addosio, an advocate of Naples, records one hundred and forty-four processes against animals tried in courts between the years 824 and I845. 1 Between the years 1522 and 1530 rats had multiplied in the country of the Beaune to an alarming extent, and their depredations were so great that a famine seemed imminent; when, all human efforts having failed to exterminate the pest, the Beaunois prayed the Official of the diocese of Autun to excommunicate them. A formal complaint against the rats described as dirty animals in the form of rats living in holes was accordingly laid in the court of the Official. The rats were formally cited to compear, but, not having done so, they were adjudged to be in contumacia, that is, in contempt of court. The pro- moter of the suit then prayed for definitive sentence ; but at this stage Barthelemy Chasseneux (1480-1531), a staid and learned lawyer, was appointed counsel (patronus) for the rats. He stated the dilatory plea that the rats, being 1 Bestie delinquent, with an appendix of documents, Napoli, 1892, 8vo. See Chambers, Book of Days, i. p. 126; limile Agnel, Curiosites judiciaires et historiques du may en age. Proces contre animaux, 1858, 8vo ; Berriat-Saint-Prix, " Rapport et Recherches sur le proces et jugemens relatifs aux animaux " in Memoires de la Societe royale des Antiquaires de France, viii. (1829), p. 403 ; Saint-Edme, Dictionnaire de la Penalite, s.v. "Animaux," i. p. 337, Paris, 1824, 8vo ; Zaunschliffer, Dissertatio juridica de pulicibus, see 46, Heilbronn, 1879, i2mo; H. White in Student and Intellectual Observer, iii. (1869), p. 210; W. Jones in Popular Science Monthly, xvii. (1880), p. 619 ; G. P. Marsh in The Nation, ii. (1865), p. 763 ; cf. Dublin University Magazine, xlvi. (1855), p. 281. Cf. [Long (Edward)], The Trial of Farmer Carter's dog Porter, for murder. Taken down verbatim et literatim in shorthand, and now published by authority from the corrected manuscript of Counsellor Clear-Point, 1871, 8vo. A satire on the game laws, reprinted nearly entire in Hone, Every-day Book, ii. p. 198, London, 1827, and in Browne, Law and Lawyers in Literature, p. 371. LEGAL PROSECUTION OF ANIMALS 129 scattered throughout a great number of villages, a single citation was not sufficient to warn them all, and he accordingly obtained an order for a second citation to be made at time of sermon in each parish church. This proved no more effectual than the first ; still the rats did not come. To excuse this fresh default the advocate dwelt upon the length and difficulty of the journey and on the dangers to which the rats were exposed from cats and the like, and maintained that the rats were entitled to protection on their way to the court and on their return home. The court was inclined to give effect to this plea, but the promoters of the suit were not prepared to give the necessary security. On the merits of the case the advocate's pleading was divided into five parts, very logical, but very prolix. He adduced ten arguments that the rats ought not to be excommunicated, and a dozen that they might, however, be anathematised. As the promoters failed to find security for the protection of the rats on their way to court, the proceedings ultimately collapsed. Chasseneux gained great credit by the manner in which he conducted the case on behalf of the rats, and it was the starting-point of a most successful career at the bar an encouragement for those who now act as agents or advo- cates for the poor he became King's Advocate for the bailiwick of Autun, a Councillor of the Parliament of Paris, and President of Aix. 1 1 Thuanus, Historia sui temf>oris,\\b. vi. 1 6, vol. i. p. 223, London, 1733, fol. ; Saint-Edme, op. laud. ; Refertorium Consiliorum domini Bartholomcei de Chassaneo, i. No. 124, Lugduni, 1531, 1588, fol. It is also referred to in his Catalogus gloria Muncti, Lugd., 1529, 1546, fol. Chasseneux was at the head of the parliament of Provence when the 1 130 LAWYERS' MERRIMENTS Rats had another advocate in no less a person than Hieronymus Rorarius, the nuncio of Pope Clement VII., at the court of Ferdinand of Hungary, 1 and who is famous for having maintained that the lower animals have reason, and employ it better than men. 2 In the Dissertatio de Pulicibus, above referred to, the concluding query is, " De remedio pontificio exorcismi in specie." The author refers to the pleading of Chasseneux, and quotes the form of expulsion " Adjuro vos mures, limaces, vermes, pulices & omnia animalia immunda, alimenta hominum dissipantia notorious judgment of i8th November, 1540, was rendered, by which a certain number of the inhabitants of Cabrieres, Merindol, and other places were condemned to death for contumacy, that is, for non-appear- ance to answer to a summons, and their dwellings to be levelled with the ground, their caves and hiding-places destroyed, and the trees in their gardens cut down. These people were a remnant of the ancient Vaudois, who had become suspect on account of the new teaching of Luther. Chasseneux suspended the execution of this judgment on a petition to the King that the people should be heard, which was granted. Chasse- neux died a year later at Aix. His successor, President Meinier, Baron d'Oppede, caused the judgment to be carried out in all its rigour. Chasseneux edited the Customs of Burgundy, Consuetudines ducatus Burgundiae, Lugd., 1 523, fol., which passed through many editions. His Life, by President Bouhier (1673-1746) is prefixed to the edition, Dijon, 1717, 410. 1 Murium . . . adversus Nicolaii Bestii edictum, Oratio. August. Rhet., 1663, 410 ; see Draudius, Bibliotheca Classica, p. 1093, Francof., 1625, 4to, 2 vols. ; and J. G. Estor, Amerlesene kleine Sckriften, vol. i. Marburg, 1786, 8vo, third edition ; Lemgo, 1768, 8vo. 2 Quod Ammalia Bruta taepe ratione utantur melius Homine, libri duo, Paris, 1648, 8vo, edited by Gabriel Naud ; " Petit ouvrage singulier et peu commun," Catalogue de la Bibliotheque de M\eon\, No. 66 1. There were several other editions. Bayle has a long article on Rorarius, Dictiottnairf, s.v. LAW PROCEDURE 131 & corrodentia hoc in territorio & parochia natu exis- tentia ut a dicto territorio & parochia discedatis & ad loca accedatis in quibus nulli nocere possitis. In nomine Patris, Filii, & Spiritus Sancti, Amen. Zaunschliffer adds from St. Augustine, " Quisquis hodie adhuc quaerit miraculum, quaerit prodigium." LAW PROCEDURE APPLIED IN ILLUSTRATION OF SERIOUS SUBJECTS. The forms of legal proceedings have been turned to account not merely for the purpose of raising a laugh, or for drawing attention to necessary reforms, but also for serious instruction. Professor Simon Greenleaf (1783-1853), the author of the standard work upon the law of Evidence, has examined the testimony of the four Evangelists according to the ordinary rules of evidence. 1 His object was to ascertain what degree of credit the narratives of these witnesses, when so tested, would be entitled to receive in human tribunals. In a similar manner Mr. Taylor Innes has dealt with the trial of Jesus Christ. 2 This method of using legal forms is, however, very ancient, and was much in vogue in the Middle Ages. There were two processes in which Our Lord is intro- duced as the chief person, the one known as Processus Sathanae contra D. Virginem coram ludice lesu, 1 The Testimony of the Four Evangelists, examined by the rules of evidence administered in Courts of Justice, with an account of the Trial of Jesus, Boston, 1846, 8vo ; London, 1847, 8vo, second edition. 2 The Trial of Jesus Christ a Legal Monograph, Edinburgh, 1899, 8vo. See also, Willem Goes, Pilatus Judex, Hag. Com., 1677, 410. 132 LAWYERS' MERRIMENTS the other as Processus Luciferi contra lesum coram ludice Salomone, or, more shortly, the former is referred to Processus Sathanae, the other as Processus Luciferi, or Belial v. Christ. 1 The enmity of Satan to man, and the story of our Redemption, are taken as being subjects the most familiar to every reader, and are employed for the purpose of illustrating legal procedure. Such a theme is startling to us, but no irreverence was intended. 2 It was probably thought that a familiar subject was the most suitable illustration, and that by using it in this way it would be brought more closely home to the people, or, in other words, that the plan of salvation would be made plain and more readily received by faith. Passion and Miracle Plays were much used in instructing the people in the contents of Scripture ; and the same idea probably underlay these 1 See Stintzing " Satans-Prozesse," in his Geschichte der popularen Literatur , , . da Rechts, pp. 259-279, Leipzig, 1867, 8vo. Unfortu- nately, I did not see this until my chapter was printed. 2 Savigny treats it as a trifling with sacred things ; a pedantic, broad, long-drawn-out farce : Gesckickte des romischen Rechts im Mittelalter, vi. p. 1 60, Heidelberg, 1831, 8vo. Gottlieb Stolle was much of the same mind ; Ankitung zur Historic der juristischen Gelahrheit, p. 486, Jena, 1745, 4to. Denis, on the other hand, styles it a juridical-theological allegory : Die Merktvilrdigkeiten der garellischen Bibliothek, p. 237, Wien, 1780, 410. Bayle was of opinion that no impiety was intended : Dictionnaire, s.v. " Wechel," note B. Richard Hollinworth (1607-1656) wrote The Holy Ghost on the Bench, other Spirits at the Bar : or, The Judgment of the Holy Spirit of God upon the Spirits of the Times ; recorded in Holy Writ, and Reported by Richard Hollin- worth, Mancuniens, London, 1656, izmo ; but the subject is not treated in any way as a legal process. LAW PROCEDURE 133 curious pleadings. The aim of Bunyan in The Pilgrim s Progress was to teach how man is to get quit of the burden of sin which he bears ; to picture his journey through life and his triumph in death. We see nothing incongruous in the story, we are conscious of nothing but piety, but in form and substance there is little difference between it and the works in question. It is more artistic ; the charm of the narrative, the simplicity and beauty of the language carry the reader along, and he forgets that the Divine is being treated as human. Men were ignorant, the clergy were indolent, Merus Canonista^ merus asinista, says the proverb. The authors of these tracts, filled with compassion for their fellows sitting in darkness, endeavoured in this way to teach them the scheme of Christianity and at the same time to remove the reproach of the other proverb, which says, Bonus Jurista, malus Christista. 1 The belief in the devil, his personality, power, and works had been developed to an extraordinary extent. 2 It was prominent in men's minds, and was no doubt one of the inducing causes of the production of this work. Passion and Miracle Plays were in great favour, and, by painting the devil in his true character, it was hoped that men might be led to what was good and right. 3 1 Melchior Goldast, Processus luris loco-serius, " Ad Lectorem," Hanoviae, 1611, 8vo. Infra, p. 201, n. 2. 2 Josef Kaufmann of Magdeburg, " Die Vorgeschichte der Zauber- und Hexenprozesse im Mittelalter " in Neue JahrbUcher fiir das Klassisches Altertum, vii. (1901) at p. 292. 3 Ebert, Bibliographical Dictionary, No. 22,705, gives a long list of works dealing with the devil from this practical point of view. 134 LAWYERS' MERRIMENTS PROCESSUS SATHAN^E. The Processus Sathan J ^ l eaves > 34 lines to a page. The preface of the translator, Georg Alt, 1493, is on f. 2b. 2 8vo, A I ?4, in eights, 35 lines to a full page. There were editions, Paris, 1507, 1515. The contents of this little volume indicate the nature of what was considered necessary for the outfit of the student and practitioner of the day. Amongst the other tracts are : Modus legendi abbreviaturas in utroque jure. Tituli libri Decretalium ; libri sexti ; libri Clementinarum. Rubrics Decretorum. Decretum Versificatum. Rubricae Institutionum ; Codicis ; librorum Feudorum ; Digest! veteris ; Infortiati ; Digesti novi ; Autenticorum. Tractatus ludiciorium per dominum Bartholum de Saxo Ferrato. Tractatus de renunciationibus Beneficiorum. Ars Notariatus. Summa Joannis Andree super secundo Decretalium. Summa Joannis Andree super quarto Decretalium. Lectura arboris Consanguinitatis. Lectura arboris Affinitatis. LITIGACIO SATHAN.E 153 like that of M. Dupin, contained a number of tracts, which were intended to meet the requirements of the student and practitioner ; and the Processus Sathan* was included as presenting a practical summary of pleading. LITIGACIO SATHAN.E CONTRA GENUS HUMANUM. This is a variant of the Processus Safaris contra B. Vir- ginem, and is attributed to Cardinal Lotario de Conti di Segni (1160-1216), "the lamp of the law" and "doctor of doctors," afterwards Pope Innocent III. 1 There are differences in the text, but they are not substantial. There are no references, however, to the Civil and Canon law as authorities, and the name of Bartolus does not appear. The title, it will be seen, is slightly varied, and in one edition it becomes " Placitum habitum inter genus humanum tanquam reum, et totum genus diabolicum tanquam actorem ; presidente in consistorio Trinitate benedicta ubi causa est concussa secundum modum et formam subscriptis." 2 1 There are four copies in the Grenville library and one in the library of King George III., all now in the British Museum. See Brunei, Manuel, s.v. " Lotharius." 2 G.L. 410 [? 1480]. Printed by ? Joannes de Westphalia ; 76 leaves, without pagination : A to K in eights : 30 lines to a full page. This is the last tract in a volume of Pope Innocent's Tracts Incipit liber miserie condicionis humanae a Lothario diacono cardinali Sanctorum Sergi et Bachi qui postea Innocentius papa appellatus est. The Placitum begins on the verso of Sig. J3 and ends on the verso of K4, occupying 19 pp. There is a copy of this edition in the British Museum, formerly in Heber's Library ; Catalogue, part ii. 3481. Innocent's tract De Miseria was translated into English by G. Gas- coigne as The Droomme of Doomesday, 1576, 410 ; and his treatise De Contemptu Mundi, by H. Kerton, as The Mirror of Man's lyfe, 1576, 410. H* 154 LAWYERS' MERRIMENTS PROCESSUS LUCIFERI. The Processus Ludferi is similar in character to the Processus Sathan a collection of docu- ments on the civil and ecclesiastical power from the Protestant point of view. 2 Anleitung zur Historic der juristischen Gelahrheit t p. 487. Goldast got himself into a scrape by printing an Oration in name of Justus Lipsius, and passing it off as the work of that scholar, with the object of annoy- ing him. The story rests on the authority of Scioppius, which is not unimpeachable. See Bayle, Dictionnaire, s.v. " Goldast." 3 Two more were afterwards added in the editions of 1566 and later. These were not by Martial d'Auvergne, but by Gilles d'Aurigny, known as le Pamphile. Arret is the judgment of a sovereign court against which there is no appeal, Rondonneau, Vocabulaire dassique des Etudians en droit, s.v., Paris, 1821, 8vo. Dupin adopts the definition and explanation, Manuel des Etudians en droit, p. 479, Paris, 1851, 8vo. L 1 62 LAWYERS' MERRIMENTS several editions. 1 It was then edited with an exhaustive commentary in Latin by Benoit le Court Benedictus Curtius and published in 1533 and frequently afterwards. These fictitious judgments, although concerned wholly with the tender passion, were intended to explain questions of law and procedure in an agreeable fashion. LE III. ARREST. Vn amoureux demande rescission de certain contract, faict avec sa dame de plusieurs pactz & conuentions, ou il auoit est deceu oultre moyti de iuste pris. LE VII. ARREST. Sentence sur vne fondation faicte de rente non amortie, par vn quidam amoureux d'vne religieuse. LE XII. ARREST. Vn amoureux, en cas de saisine & nouuellete, se complaint de sa dame, disant que non obstant les promesses faictes entres eulx de vivre & mourir en- semble, & de non iamais se departir de leurs amours, ce neantmoins, elle ne tient compte de luy, mais faict meilleur chere a plusieurs autres qu' a luy. Questions such as these may lead to the discussion of all sorts of points of law and procedure, and afford ample room for irrelevancy. The last-mentioned case, says the author, was tried before the ladies of the Council of Love in the Chamber of Pleasure: when the commentator promptly interjects that women cannot be judges as established by law 2 of the Title of the Digest " De 1 Greswell gives the date of the first edition as after 1500, Annals of Parisian Typography y p. 315. ARRETS D'AMOUR 163 diversis regulis Juris," not because they want judgment, but because they cannot perform civil duties. Women, however, it is added, filled the office of judges in the Old Testament; and they may now give judgment by custom or by delegation from the Prince. 1 The state- ment that the lovers agreed to live and die together leads to a disquisition on the law of partnership. A partner- ship cannot be entered into in perpetuity ; but there may be a partnership omnium bonorum. The Arrets d' Amour found numerous readers, and passed through numerous editions, the latest being that by Lenglet du Fresnoy, Amsterdam, I73i, 2 with a glossary and notes. Voyer d'Argenson, speaking of this work, regrets that no one has published a more recent edition, which, by rejuvenating the eld language, would, he considers, be useful to young magistrates and advocates, inasmuch as it would show them in a few words the differences between the judicial forms of the present day and those of the times of Martial d'Auvergne. 3 1 This subject is more fully discussed by Everard Bronchorst (1544- 1627), professor at Leyden, supra y p. 139. His work passed through, at least, a dozen editions. There is a Portuguese work upon the subject by Ruy Gon9alves, licentiate in civil law and professor in the University of Coimbra, Dos prlvilegios & prerogatives q ho genero feminino fe for dereito comu fcf or denotes do Reyno mais que ho genero masculine, s.l., 1557, 4to ; Lisboa, 1785, 8vo. 2 Amsterdam, 1731, I2mo, 2 vols. It also contains a Latin translation. 3 Melanges tires d'une grande Bibliothlque, Tom. D. p. 336, Paris, 1779-84, 8vo, 70 parts in 69 vols. 8vo (by the Marquis de Paulmy and Contant d'Orville. The Grande Bibliothequt was the property of the Marquis de Paulmy, the purchaser of the second part of the Valliere Library. In 1785 the Marquis sold his library to the Comte d'Artois, reserving, however, the use of the books for his life. He died in 1787, 164 LAWYERS' MERRIMENTS Times are changed. The humour of the Arrets cT Amour, of the Processus Sathan 3 Ib. p. 29. 194 LAWYERS' MERRIMENTS In England they have Hughes s Queries ; or, Choice Cases for Moots, containing several points of law, not resolved in the books, by William Hughes, Esq., late of the Honourable Society of Grayes Inn. 1 This is a student's book intended to aid the keeping of Moot-Courts ; but mooting was a serious part of a young lawyer's education, not mere amusement. 2 The Cases are stated for the purpose of provoking discussion, and have nothing of a humorous turn. The Quaeries and Cases, it is said, were " collected into this body with special regard to the younger Contro- versialists, who often find it more difficult to make a Case than make an Argument." Law Quibbles, first published in London, 1724, proposes on its title-page to deal with the evasions, tricks, turns, and quibbles commonly used in the profession of the law, to the prejudice of clients and others; 3 and in the preface the author says " The following Work is not compos'd of Quibbles alone ; for it contains the various Turns and Subtilties to be met with in the Practice and Abuse of our 1 London, 1675, izmo, B.L. He had previously edited a similar work by Arthur Gregory : Gregorys Moot-book ; being a survey of the general titles of the common law with the cases thereof, London, 1663, 410. He also translated The Mirrour of Justices, Ib. 1646, i2mo. 2 On the manner of Mooting, see Herbert, Antiquities of the Inns of Court and Chancery, p. 178, London, 1804, 8vo. Bolting was inferior to mooting. 3 Law Quibbles; or, a Treatise of the Evasions, Tricks, Turns, and Quibbles, commonly used in the Profession of the Law, to the Prejudice of Clients, and others; Necessary to be peruid by all Attorneys, and those who are or may be concerned in Law-Suits, Trials, tffr., to avoid the many Abuses, Delays, and Expences, introduced into Practice, London, 1724, 8vo. A second edition was published in 1726, and a fourth in 1736. MOUSE TRAPS 195 Laws ; what People may do, and what they may not do ; what will be Binding, and what will be not so ; with many extraordinary and curious Cases, proper to be known as a Guard against Impositions." The text is, however, in an entirely different strain, and instead of pitfalls and quibbles presents and explains a number of points of interest with the principles by which they are ruled. " BEGINNING. " A Man buys Cattle in a Fair, or Market, which are stoln ; and selleth them out of the Market, though the Beasts are afterwards brought into the Market, and the second Bargain is confirmed by the Person which bought the Cattle, who pays all his Money, and likewise the Toll for the Beasts, the Property is not thereby changed ; for the Bargain shall have Relation to the Beginning, which was unlawful. Dy. 99." * "CHANGE OF PROPERTY. " If Writings are put in a Box, this will alter the Property of the Box from being a Chattel, and it shall go to the Heir. Noy. 7. "A Man cuts down the Trees of another, and squares them to make Beams for a House, the Person injur'd may seize the same ; But if they are once laid in the Building, their Nature is then alter'd and they may not be seized, because they are become a Part of the House, which may not be pull'd down. Dodd, 143." 2 x /. p. 17. *lb. p. 24. 196 LAWYERS' MERRIMENTS "VIOLENCE " All Violence is unlawful ; and if a Man Assault another with an Intention of beating him only, and he dieth, it is Felony. If a Father, Master, or Schoolmaster correct a Child, Servant, or Scholar, with Things not fit for Correction, and Death ensues, it is Murder. And if a Man knocks another in the Head who is breaking his Hedges, &c., this will be Murder, because it is a violent Act beyond the Provocation. Kel. Rep. 64, I3i." ] In this part of the world all our sympathies are with those unfortunates who were so ruthlessly prosecuted, after the Restoration, for holding conventicles. In England the accused were often able to provide mouse-traps for the authorities who put the law in force, by seizing on flaws in the procedure. No less a person than Sir Edmund Saunders, Lord Chief Justice of England, "the Terence of Reporters," when at the bar, prepared a handbook for the assistance of Justices of the Peace for the county of Middlesex in carrying out the Act 22, Charles II. c. i, "To prevent and suppress seditious Conventicles," with safety " from the malitious Suits of the Dissenting Party, who were, and always are ready to take advantage of the least slip or mistake of any of the King's officers of the Peace." 2 Another manual of the same kind was Legis Fluvius; or, l lb. p. 115. 2 Observations upon the Statute . . . entituled an Act to prevent and suppress seditious Conventicles, London, 1685, izmo. Saunders was a great lawyer. He never in all his life, says Roger North, " betrayed a client to court or judge, as most eminent men do. If he had any fault it was playing tricks to serve them, and rather expose himself than his client's interest. He had no regard for fees, but did all the service he could, whether feed double or single," Lives of the Norths, iii. p. 91. MOUSE TRAPS 197 The Fountain of the law opened . . . being useful for all Attorneys, Clerks and Informers}- It was really for the use of those last mentioned, and in the title-page the word " Informers " is printed in a line by itself and in large capitals. The author, A. G., provided a Form of pro- ceeding upon each Penal Statute, " so that if this be duly observed and practised, I hope the Caterpillers and Locusts of this Commonwealth, as Forestallers, Regradors, Ingrossers, &c., will be shaken off from our Fruit Trees ; for which purpose this was composed ; and hoping it will prove effectual, I conclude." The constable also required guidance in his calling, and accordingly E. W., of Gray's Inn, published The Exact Constable . . . fitted and prepared to the meanest capacity of either city or country? 1 The author informs us that he had " no other design than to throw in his Mite towards establishing the desired and admirable Government of this Nation, and to contribute his assistance to all those Loyal and Active subjects, who conform to and act under the same." NEQUITIA ADVOCATORUM. The shortcomings of lawyers can hardly be classed as merriments, but they have been the subject of many merry, of some very ill-natured, and of some serious works. 1 London, 1658, izmo. The author was A. G. 2 London, 1663, i2mo. A sixth edition appeared in 1680, i2mo. The executioners of the law Messengers-at-Arms, Sheriff-Officers, and Constables have never been popular. Hence, Ars Catchpolaria ; or, the Art of destroying Mankind, Intended as a Vade Mecum or Pocket Com- panion to Messengers and other Executors of the law, Edinburgh, 1775, 8vo. 198 LAWYERS' MERRIMENTS Of all professions on the globe, The coifed gown and scarlet robe Most mis'ry do create ; Instead of soothing down your cares, They serve but to perplex affairs, And bring them to debate. Since lawyers are such common pests, Avoid them as you would the nests Of hornets newly flown ; And whilst you live, beware of law, It is the hungry lion's paw That tears the flesh from bone. 1 In referring to this subject it is convenient to employ a Latin term. Nequitia is a word with many shades of meaning, commencing with mere inactivity or slackness and ending with villany. Between these extremes it may import idleness, negligence, levity, worthlessness,or wicked- ness. All these have been attributed to lawyers, so that it is of advantage to have one word that can express all or any of them at the will of the speaker. Nequitia infernalis, it will be remembered, is used by Bartolus as the equivalent of the Powers of Darkness, and some persons have thought that it is none too strong for the whole order of lawyers. " Unless hell is full, never will a lawyer be saved," says the French proverb. As early as the second century of our era Apuleius speaks of judges as " Vilissima capita, forensia pecora, immo togati vulturii"; marketing their judgments fora price; 2 but the like language has been used of advocates 1 " The Lawyer " in The Musis Mirrour, i. p. ill, London, 1778, 8vo. 2 Apuleius, Metamorphoses^ 10, 14. NEQUITIA ADVOCATORUM 199 and even of gentlemen of the short robe, and there is a long string of proverbs and proverbial phrases expressing the same idea in terms less or more forcible. Thou besy fole intende vnto this clause, That euery lawyer shall gyue more aduertence To mony and gyftis than vnto thy cause ; For after he hath set thy wordes and sentence In his fat boke, fyllyd with offence, And there pryckd with his couetous pen, Thou neuer shalt thryue whyle thy name is therin. 1 Writers and knights are placed on the same platform ; both are rogues, or the next thing to them The scribe is ordeyned hymself to exercyse, To wryte with his pen iust lawes and very table, And shewe by his craft the rule of right iustyce ; But nowe theyr dedys ar moche varyable For knyghtes and scribes by wayes disceyuable, By the swerde and pen right cursydly intende Them to oppres, whome they ought to defende. 2 Why this should be it is difficult to say. There is no class of the community more trusted or more esteemed than the legal profession ; and it is just because they stand upon a pinnacle of perfection that the shafts of detractors do them no harm. The popular prejudice is, and has been, as strong in Scotland as elsewhere. The language of Alexander Craig (d. 1627), if not poetical, is at least expressive Tell, Lawyers are the children of Horse-Lieches, Which cry Giue, Giue, and make great gain by Speaches, 1 Barclay, The Ship of Fools, ii. p. 50, Edinburgh, 1874, 4 to - 2 73. ii. p. 84. Cf. Ib. ii. p. 51. 200 LAWYERS' MERRIMENTS Their chieffest sport is but to sow Dissention, And build their States by Crooks, Delayes, Contention. Tell Clerkes and Writers, They are farre from ill, Yet Scrybes of olde expon'd the Laws at will. 1 The lawyer of the period, however, entered upon his vocation with high resolves : " In this tyme God directed me to choyse the matter of my lesson [that is, thesis for admission to the Faculty of Advocates] to be de advo- catorum ojficiis ac vitiis as the most fit for his glory, the auditors aedification, and my preparation to ane conscionable walking in my calling." 2 During the sixteenth and seventeenth centuries the fancied demerits of lawyers formed the subject of a whole library of tracts and dissertations. The most prominent of these was the Disputatio de nequitia Advocatorum, von Tficken und Bubenstttcken der Advocaten und deren Gebet, a satirical work by Arnold Moriz Holtermann (1627-1681), a meritorious lawyer, and professor of law at Marburg. 3 Then followed dissertations on Wmdmacherei^ legal char- 1 Satyra Volans in The Poetical Recreations of Mr. Alexander Craig, Aber- deen, 1623, 410 ; reprinted by James Maidment. Edmund Leach wrote, Downfall of the Unjust Lawyers, and Rising of the Just, 1652, 410. Writing in 1589 James Melville says of one John Arthoure he was " pure, debauchit, greidie and neidie, and therewithall a lawer, attending on Session, and waiting to mak his prey of the soumes of contravention," James Melville, Diary, p. 185. 2 Diary of Sir Archibald Johnston of Warriston, p. 161, anno 1633 (Scottish History Society). 8 Marburg, 1679 ; republished at Marburg in 1681, 1684, 1695, and 1712 ; and at Frankfurt and Leipsic in 1735. It has a curious engraved title-page. As pendent to this he published Verkehrter Jurist, sive sine lege Montrosus Jurisconsultus, Marburg, 1680; Freienhagae, 1685, I2mo. NEQUITIA ADVOCATORUM 201 latanry or gasing, to use modern slang ; the crooked ways of lawyers ; the tricks of advocates ; the waxen nose of the law ; and the conscience of an advocate. 1 The proverb, Bonus Jurista, malus Christista, constantly in the mouth of Luther, has served as a theme for several legal disquisitions. 2 Ahasuerus Fritsch (1629-1701), one of the most voluminous authors of his day, jurist and theologian, poet and man of affairs, exposed the failings of every profession, and penned treatises on the peccant advocate, the peccant notary, and other peccant lawyers, as well as on tripping princes, privy councillors, students, merchants, burgo- masters, and nobles. 3 1 Von der juristischen Windmacherei, Jena, 1686, by an anonymous writer ; Hertius (J. N.), Deperversis Advocatorum artibus, Giessae, 1 703 ; Trautmann (F. A.), De strategematibus advocatorem vulgo, Von Advokaten-Streichen, Jena, 1720, 410 ; Stiykius (S.), De Conscientia Advocati. Erf., 1677. See J. Frank, in Allgemeine deutsche Biographic, s.v.v. Holtermann and Doehler. See also Niemann (Ch. A.), De advocatorum culpa, Jena, 1700, 4to; Leyser (Aug.), De causis odii erga Advocates, Helmst., 1713, 410 ; Lange (J. L.), De advocate fatalia negligente, Rostoc., 1755, 410. 2 Supra, p. 133. [Leonhard Schritzmeier] J uristen-spiegel durch Anleitung des Bprichwortes: Juristen sind bose Christen aufgesetzt, Hamburg, 1666, i zmo ; Ib. 1 70 1 , 1 2mo ; H. P. Haberkorn, Religio J urisconsultorum, Lipsiae, 1677, 410; Die Religion eines Juristen, Frankf., 1720, anon.; J. G. Meier presiding ; J. A. Stein, Juristen bose Christen, Giessae, 1719; J. P. Schmidt, Juristen gute Christen, Rost., 1730, 410; Roderick von Stintzing, Das Sprichtvort "Juristen base Christen" in seinem geschichtlichen Bedeutungen, Bonn, 1875, 8vo. At p. 30 he gives a list of books on the proverb. Georg Wald, or more properly, Am Wald, lawyer and Paracelsist, deals with it in his Gerichts Teuffel Third Tract, Franckfurt a. M., 1 586, fol. 3 Advocatus peccans, sive de peccatis advocatorum et procuratorum, Francof., 1678, 8vo. His Notarius Peccans, Rudolst., 1681, 8vo, was an adaptation of the Compendium in Notariorum sive Tabellonum excessus errores, atque 202 LAWYERS' MERRIMENTS The fees of law agents have for many generations been charged in accordance with an authorised Table. It covers all work done, and professional accounts are taxed in accordance with its provisions. South of the Border they had, however, at one time, the curious experience that the taxing officer altogether disallowed charges for services of the utmost value and importance, or allowed merely nominal charges, while he passed charges for services never rendered or business never performed, which solicitors made, and were allowed to make, in order to balance the inequality. 1 The Law and Lawyers laid open in Twelve Visions' 2 ' is a severe indictment of legal practitioners of all classes in London in the early part of the eighteenth century; but, peccata, of Antonio Tassara, a notary of Padua, originally published in 1511 ; reprinted Francofurti, 1590, 8vo. The work refers to the acts of false notaries, but its principal object is to point out the errors into which the practising notary is liable to fall and how to guard against them. According to Henry Cornelius Agrippa no notary could frame an instrument from whence there may not be some cause of quarrel picked. De incertitudine et vanitate Scientiarum et Artium, c. 94, Colonize, 1532, izmo; Morley, Life of Henry Cornelius Agrippa, ii. p. 202, London, 1856, 8vo. x See per Lord Langdale in Davenport v. Stafford, 8 Beavan, 516; Report of Special Committee on Professional Remuneration, p. 22 [London, 1858] (Society for promoting the amendment of the law) ; Parker (R. A.), Observations on the Remuneration of Attorneys and Solicitors, London, 1853. A Table of Fees is an institution of great antiquity. Pope John XXII. (1316-34), for instance, fixed a scale of charges for the notaries practising in the Roman Curia, which was for long in force. 2 Supra, p. 178. Reference may likewise be made to The Life and Adventures of a Limb of the Law, by Michael Fagg, Esq., K.C., London, 1836, 8vo. The evil still existed, but, as the author points out, only amongst the disreputable members of the profession. NEQUITIA ADVOCATORUM 203 while the abuses which are exposed no doubt existed, they are not characteristic of the profession as a body. Criticism may be fair and temperate, as in John Payne Collier's Criticisms upon the Bar ; l but criticism of a class is apt to degenerate into attacks upon individuals, by the selection of particular persons as representative of the class. In other cases, the life and conduct of certain members of the profession are held up for reprobation ; but, while the charges made are sometimes well founded and the exposure is merited, the strictures passed are apt to become coarse abuse, and lose their point and their value by their virulence; non est jocus esse malignum. At the beginning of last century there was published in London Strictures on the Characters of the most prominent practising Attornies? Some were praised ; others were damned. The work was intended to be facetious, but failed ; its interest lay in the coarse manner in which it pelted those whom it placed on its self-erected pillory. It must have found readers, as it had reached a third edition in 1808. It is described as volume One, but there seems to have been no Second. A few years later there appeared Ward's Strictures on the characters of certain Barristers, ana also on the conduct of the most Respectable and the most Infamous and Oppressive town and country Attornies? This is practically the same work in a different 1 London, 1819, 8vo. Published under the pseudonym of "Amicus Curiae." He was for some time a student of the Middle Temple. 2 London, 1808, 8vo, third edition. The book bears to be by Robert Holloway, gent. The first edition was published in 1805. 3 London, 1828, 8vo. It was to be published in six parts or two volumes. I have seen only the second edition of the First Part, and do not know whether it went further. It bears to be by Thomas Ward, 204 LAWYERS' MERRIMENTS shape. Some of the chapters are identical, but the persons praised or satirised are different. Nowadays plenty of examinations are provided for those proposing to practise as law agents or as attorneys and solicitors, but no certificate of respectability is required, and no inquiry is made as to the fitness and experience of the candidate for business. This is a singular over- sight, and contrary to ancient practice. The constitution " Romani Pontificis providentia" of Martin V. (1417-31) provided, as regarded Notaries in the Roman Curia, not only that they should be examined as to their knowledge of law and fitness to practise, but also that they should be of good reputation and honest report (boni nominis, et laudabilis fam